SPAM Haiku 15701-15800

Move backwards to Numbers 15601-15700.

15701.
Archaeologists
of future will know just how
SPAM tasted to us.

--Milford Pigboy

15702.
I'm drippy wet SPAM!
They always say you are what
you stick up your ass.

--DJ Slut Pappy

15703.
SPAM ingredients:
rat ears, fly sperm, monkey shit.
That's why I love SPAM!

--DJ Slut Pappy

15704.
Stuck on bungee stick
in a jungle full of rot.
SPAM worse? I think not.

--Dick, r_varner@earthlink.net

15705.
SPAM, apple of my
eye. To kiss, fondle, eat you.
No, I'd rather die.

--Dick, r_varner@earthlink.net

15706.
Cold SPAM in pocket.
"Yes I can do that job, sir."
Head bowed, shoulders slump.

--Job Seeker Tim, PleaseHireMe@anywhere.com

15707.
Shame-filled, No Pride now.
"Oh Please, I'll take anything."
Take SPAM up wazoo.

--Job Seeker Tim, PleaseHireMe@anywhere.com

15708.
On my knees, neck out.
I seek Gravy, I find none.
Bludgeoned by SPAMStick.

--Job Seeker Tim, PleaseHireMe@anywhere.com

15709.
Pound pavement, doors slam.
"Is there no mercy this day??"
SPAM consoles me now.

--Job Seeker Tim, PleaseHireMe@anywhere.com

15710.
Dicing saw not bad.
The startled look says it all:
Dumber than old SPAM.

--Too_Quick_Matt, Installer@TheBoneyard.com

15711.
august already
good time to go SPAM picking
ripe SPAM in sewers

--breaker, breaker021@hotmail.com

15712.
"Republicans are
inclusive!" chants Dub-ya. Like
SPAM shreds in one can.

--Milford Pigboy

15713.
I love the smell of
SPAM in the morning. It smells...
a lot like cat food.

--Milford Pigboy

15714.
What would happen if,
because of SPAM Haiku, we
could laugh at Hormel?

--Milford Pigboy

15715.
Each pig particle
in a can of SPAM has its
own story to tell.

--Milford Pigboy

15716.
SPAM is to cuisine
what particle board is to
finished carpentry.

--Milford Pigboy

15717.
Is it still a sex
crime when it is committed
with a cube of SPAM?

--Milford Pigboy

15718.
No bones to bone, nor
Guts to gut--why isn't it
Pre-sliced in the can?

--Nick McLeod, sixospades@yahoo.com

15719.
Murder mystery:
Worker found dead, head down in
vat of SPAM liquid.

--Milford Pigboy

15720.
In the SPAM of time
Flesh and bones not withstanding
New fool fodder forms

--B, bahogan@earthlink.net

15721.
My wife packed my lunch
Saltines, Tabasco, and SPAM
Puke at three p.m.

--Joe SPAMmer, jscoll@bellsouth.net

15722.
running, get away
greasy dogs nip my ankles
last can of SPAM, mine

--Joe SPAMmer, jscoll@bellsouth.net

15723.
Hark! SPAM speaks, "Why hate
You me? I do thee no harm.
Hast thou e'er had me?"

--H. Colleen and J. C. Maloney, lizzer2@msn.com

15724.
Promised salary
Options are greasy like SPAM
Update resume

--Tommy Haupfear, haupfear@charter.net

15725.
weep for lives of pigs
cut short by the millions
the SPAM holocaust

--Sloopy, FosterM@intgame.com

15726.
Thick grease coats my tongue
like congealed fatty pond scum.
Quick! Spit that shit out!

--El Sleepy

15727.
SPAM is not divine
Proletarian lunch meat
I can't wait to eat

--Jesus, Son o'God@Heaven.org

15728.
SPAM is good to eat
It looks a little like meat
Too bad it is not

--Jesus, Son o' God@Heaven.org

15729.
Do you like your SPAM?
Do you like Green Eggs 'n' Ham?
Yes? Try therapy.

--Jesus, Son o' God@Heaven.org

15730.
My dad won't buy SPAM.
That arrogant deity.
All knowing. My ass.

--Jesus, Son o' God@Heaven.org

15731.
Morning comes again.
A void cries from within me.
I should eat some SPAM.

--Crying Carl, CBC@HelpMe.com

15732.
quivering softly
processed pig parts potently
quiver quite softly

--deepneptune@my-deja.com

15733.
Chunky shreds of what?
Just eat it furiously
Stop when poop comes out

--Jennifer Loson, jloson@zefer.com

15734.
Delectable SPAM
Fills the cesspools of the mind
Kills fragile spirits

--Billy Joe Bob Fred

15735.
torn from grey pages
clipping forms from yesturday
into sad present

--eric brown, eric_b_2000

15736.
Nude marbled meat treat
Frizzling in hot dark skillet
Fry up war rations

--Pork Lawyer

15737.
Cholera, Typhus,
Typhoid, Malaria, SPAM.
That shit will kill you!

--el sleepy

15738.
I love you my SPAM
Far better than a fat ham
What is ham? Not SPAM

--Roger Wade

15739.
Tell me about SPAM.
Tell me the truth about SPAM.
Let nothing choke you.

--perkin@freeuk.com

15740.
Sing to me again
So little time is left now
To learn about SPAM

--perkin@freeuk.com

15741.
When my nostrils twitch
In the odor of fresh SPAM
I know my muse comes

--perkin@freeuk.com

15742.
Recipes offered
to a SPAM-Off: add SPAM, then
try to remove it.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

15743.
Do the Olympics
ever reject a sponsor?
Only Hormel's SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

15744.
Directions for SPAM:
Slice into eight pieces. Warm and
place on plate. Serves none.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

15745.
At least we know Joe
Lieberman would never serve
SPAM at the White House.

--Milford Pigboy

15746.
Take, Eat, think of me.
Canned transubstantiation.
Porcine Eucharist.

--james, simply james

15747.
Corporate pigs at
the public trough: Ralph Nader
says, "Let them eat SPAM!"

--Milford Pigboy

15748.
Taste of sensuous
juicy, pink SPAM: the best way
to French-kiss a pig.

--Milford Pigboy

15749.
SPAM derivation:
"..AM" is from "ham." What of "SP.."?
Could it be..."sputum"!?

--C. Buckley, cbuckley@iquest.net

15750.
Woody Guthrie strums
and croons in his folksy way,
"This SPAM is your SPAM!"

--Fozzie

15751.
Sometimes when I'm not
feeling well, I reflect on
that blessed pink loaf.

--Fozzie

15752.
The dispute goes like
this: one man degrades SPAM, so
I beat him silly.

--Fozzie

15753.
Foreign agents who
infiltrate SPAM archives place
world peace in peril.

--Fozzie

15754.
Blue can promises
My red lips consuming it
Green belly spews it

--Swookes

15755.
During war, Hormel
Changes gelatin slightly
Now SPAM is napalm

--John Booty, john_booty@yahoo.com

15756.
Master race of pork
Armies of small, pink soldiers
Hitler is smiling

--John Booty, john_booty@yahoo.com

15757.
Shakespeare said it best
I am sure he wrote of SPAM:
All's Well That End's Well

--Ira Slotkin, iraslotkin@hotmail.com

15758.
Fritz Perls would have said:
You must be the can, the gel,
And the pig inside.

--Ira Slotkin, iraslotkin@hotmail.com

15759.
Freud would have asked you:
So(w), what was your mother like?
Let's open the can.

--Ira Slotkin, iraslotkin@hotmail.com

15760.
Carl Rogers would say:
What I hear you saying is
"The can cramps your style."

--Ira Slotkin, iraslotkin@hotmail.com

15761.
Your Grandma would say:
Please, eat this. I need the can
To go in the trash.

--Ira Slotkin, iraslotkin@hotmail.com

15762.
Ralph Nader would say:
This is very dangerous!
Do not drive this stuff!

--Ira Slotkin, iraslotkin@hotmail.com

15763.
Asimov would say:
The basis of the Empire
Is a coat of gel.

--Ira Slotkin, iraslotkin@hotmail.com

15764.
Dr. Bronner says:
Better than my liquid soap!
Eat and brush your teeth.

--Ira Slotkin, iraslotkin@hotmail.com

15765.
Larry Flynt would say:
Look at the meat in that can!
I am quitting porn.

--Ira Slotkin, iraslotkin@hotmail.com

15766.
Air-tight pseudo-food.
A millennial shelf-life.
Mankind must abstain!

--Jovaldo

15767.
when man crawled out of
the warm wet ooze of the earth
like SPAM, mystery

--Warren Dean Fulton

15768.
ohh, moisten my lips
& who among you doesn't
dream of SPAM at night

--Warren Dean Fulton

15769.
somewhere between us
in places I'd rather not
know, SPAM is sticky

--Warren Dean Fulton

15770.
SPAM comes from spiced ham?
Spiced with what, we all wonder?
Don't ask and don't tell

--Clif Duhn, cduhn@iupui.edu

15771.
father's metal seed
mother's womb of processed meat
I was born of SPAM

--carl peterson, darthcarl@hotmail.com

15772.
Buster Keaton eats
Silent film star makes a sound
He says, "What is this?"

--carl peterson, darthcarl@hotmail.com

15773.
Peter Garrett sings:
"How can we sleep when our beds
are made of pig meat?"

--Jovaldo

15774.
Unison: stale air
suction. Shiny pink mountain
released from tin can.

--Jovaldo

15775.
What is that oily,
greasy, viscous, clear liquid
around each SPAM cube?

--Milford Pigboy

15776.
Decant SPAM liquid:
sexual lubricant when
K-Y is used up.

--Milford Pigboy

15777.
Include SPAM liquid
to make delicious, creamy,
smooth SPAM blender drink.

--Milford Pigboy

15778.
Also, SPAM liquid
can be used as a shiny
substitute floor wax.

--Milford Pigboy

15779.
Not even Ken Starr
would care about SPAM liquid
stains on your clothing.

--Milford Pigboy

15780.
SPAM--the official
offal of the 2000
Sydney Olympics.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

15781.
SPAM! Jam? Spank me ma'am
It's a turd from outer space
Heaven help us bitch

--unknown author

15782.
On a spunk of SPAM
a chunk in a greasy can
a gagging dog dies.

--unknown author, JohnnaB1@msn.com

15783.
One is what one eats?
If SPAM, then what matter--it's
Time to blue the house

--Dan I. Radakovich, daniradakovich@aol.com

15784.
All right, we're SPAMmin...
We wanna SPAM it with you
We're SPAMmin, SPAMmin.......

--Brian A., bcallen@umich.edu

15785.
SPAM is delicious
But only, to be honest
When it's a fritter

--Harry

15786.
Pineapple? No thanks
There is only one fritter
and it is of SPAM

--Harry

15787.
You can build houses
making use of SPAM for bricks.
But they go moldy.

--Harry

15788.
Compressing SPAM down
in a vice or trouser press
can be quite messy.

--Harry

15789.
Although I am short
I look quite tall because I
put SPAM in my shoes.

--Harry

15790.
Forgive the outburst,
but I heard... persons laughing
at laughable SPAM.

--Milford Pigboy

15791.
I know it's waiting
In the second cupboard down
Want to go home now!

--Oberon K Tortoisehead, oberon@anti-social.com

15792.
Beyond the sunrise.
Epitome of pinkness.
Familiar....home.

--Oberon K Tortoisehead, oberon@anti-social.com

15793.
Granny's Sunday treat
I honor her tradition
Belly and heart filled

--Oberon K. Tortoisehead, oberon@anti-social.com

15794.
Man on mountainside
Spent all afternoon walking
Well-deserved reward

--Oberon K Tortoisehead, oberon@anti-social.com

15795.
Epochs come and go
All ephemeral but SPAM
Know what I'm getting

--Oberon K Tortoisehead, oberon@anti-social.com

15796.
Long-life sustenance!
Why, when you live forever
Do you cut mine short?

--Oberon K Tortoisehead, oberon@anti-social.com

15797.
Glutinous and pink
I become envious of
Your simplicity

--Oberon K Tortoisehead, oberon@anti-social.com

15798.
a just dessert gave
canned beets, corn-nuts, and pork rinds
add cabbage, SPAM, drink

--shoobley doo

15799.
Devil sits on high
throne of SPAM and cottage cheese
eating cardboard fleas

--shoobley doo

15800.
Code blue: SPAM slice lodged
in windpipe. This one did not
commit suicide.

--Milford Pigboy