SPAM Haiku 14801-14900

Move backwards to Numbers 14701-14800.


14801.
my booty itches
what the heck? SPAM is that you?
no, I'm making bread
--MILHOUSE

14802.
my dad goes to church,
but understands my choices.
SPAMosexual.

--MILHOUSE

14803.
The foul, stink it is
My can, in the can is my
dog named jimmy-pop

--Clayton, solipsis795@splatsearch.com

14804.
SPAM, I sing thy praise:
Long pig by any other
Name would taste the same.

--Tim Condon, tim@free-market.net

14805.
SPAM can smell like lamb
It can look like your friend Sam
But it is no ham

--Jennica, ncluvr1212@hotmail.com

14806.
My friend Sam likes SPAM
Even though she can't eat ham
She don't give a damn

--Jenn, Jenn7620@yahoo.com

14807.
key on side of can
no opener required here
find treasure within

--melissa reynolds

14808.
My generation,
Our heads filled with poetry
Our stomachs with SPAM.

--perkin@freeuk.com

14809.
See the guy push the
Pig into the meat grinder.
Hey, look. It's some SPAM.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14810.
The essence of joy
Is pink and comes in blue cans.
Stomach growls again.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14811.
Once there was a pig
Who wanted to gain much fame.
It now lives in cans.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14812.
I sit at PC
Should I waste my time on spam?
Hell yes... pass the SPAM.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14813.
I'm quite good at this--
Should take creative writing.
It's really lots of ______.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14814.
So the last word of
My last poem was supposed to
Be "fun." OK, done.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14815.
One two three four five
One two three four five six se-
ven. Just checking, SPAM!

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14816.
I don't understand.
Why, when I burp, do I get
Aftertaste of SPAM?

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14817.
I do my homework.
Sometimes. But when I'm hungry,
I can't. I need SPAM.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14818.
I have a secret.
Never throughout my whole life
Have I tried some SPAM.

--Stefan Kupych, styopa7684@hotmail.com

14819.
So much depends on
the little key on the can,
and the waiting tab.

--Alex Silbajoris, asilbajo@hotmail.com

14820.
Foil between the pipes,
the SPAM cooks slowly on the
intake manifold.

--Alex Silbajoris, asilbajo@hotmail.com

14821.
My Need: Exercise.
My Appearance: just like SPAM.
My Goal: Lizard Hips!!

--Carl, Swineboy@FatPig.Oink

14822.
Like Cher it will keep
on the shelf for many years,
it is found! Preserved!

--jay, jerry@lakecharles.com

14823.
Backwoods SPAM horror
Actors get deliverance
Squeal like a pig, boy!

--dave slade, dslade@tvnz.co.nz

14824.
tortured teenagers
dream of pink scar-faced monster
nightmare on SPAM street

--dave slade

14825.
Motley drilling crew
blows up huge pink asteroid.
SPAMMAGEDDON flops.

--Dave Slade

14826.
SPAM planet explodes
Pink baby escapes to earth
Becomes "SUPERSPAM"

--Dave Slade

14827.
Orwellian pigs
take over the farm and make
SPAM out of humans.

--Dave slade

14828.
Gently licking SPAM
comes a very close second
to proper foreplay.

--Dave Slade

14829.
Martian probe reports
"No intelligent life here"
Finding can of SPAM

--Dave Slade

14830.
Joseph imprisoned
by brothers jealous of his
many colored SPAM.

--Bible Boy

14831.
Disgusting, dif'rent
Packaged "meat" but not quite meat
"Ready to eat" "Nah"

--Lara, Lara09126@hotmail.com

14832.
Jonah in the whale
Cries out aloud "Lord, help me
I know how SPAM feels!"

--Bible Boy

14833.
I admire la SPAM
Different and exciting
Yet really scary

--Jenara, IssueZ7620@hotmail.com

14834.
The forbidden food
Or at least it should be called
Dirty, grody SPAM

--Jennica, ncluvr1212@hotmail.com

14835.
The world's first woman,
naked, holds a can of SPAM.
Eve tempting Adam.

--Bible Boy

14836.
Moses warns Pharaoh
"A plague of SPAM on Egypt"
Jewish slaves set free

--Bible Boy

14837.
Perfect, pink, and square.
Does anyone have a spare?
My SPAM is missing.

--Karen, clubcarp2@hotmail.com

14838.
When the pink slab comes
I feel, now, the urge to hurl
I am disgusted

--Lara, lara09126@hotmail.com

14839.
As the waters rise
There's two SPAM tins on the Ark.
Noah's big mistake.

--Bible Boy

14840.
slimy pink and mushed
stinky prepacked art master
artificial meat

--Bobby, Mysticblaze94@cs.com

14841.
Snows of Kambara
A lone traveller holds close
His cloak, and his loaf

--rpahk

14842.
The SPAM-ku homepage
gives meaning and purpose to
our sad boring lives.

--Chuck Beard

14843.
five syllables here
seven syllables here now
do not mention SPAM

--Chuck Beard

14844.
I think your fans would
be willing to donate to
get spamku dot com.

--Chuck Beard

14845.
In another world
A man gets a masp message
It's not spelled spam there.

--Chuck Beard

14846.
if sodium was
an addictive drug SPAM sales
would go through the roof

--Chuck Beard

14847.
Guam natives rejoice
Canned pink meat from Uncle Sam
Tastes like Auntie Pam

--Anonymous

14848.
The chill yet bracing
mist . . . the rusting blue can . . . the
damp decaying leaves.

--Fred R. Pletcher, fpletcher@blgcanada.com

14849.
Burger King crisis
Millions have to be recalled
Deadly PoKeSPAM

----Cure 81.9

14850.
Call HAZMAT team STAT
ER's crammed full of victims
SPAM gelatin spill

----Cure 81.9

14851.
SPAM comes in a can
Goes good with everything
Hard to stop eating

--Nathan Powers, natetureboy7@juno.com

14852.
The many flavors
You can't believe it is meat
It is hard to beat

--Nathan Powers, natetureboy7@juno.com

14853.
It is pink and smooth
The junky meat in a can
You know it is SPAM

--Nathan Powers, natetureboy7@juno.com

14854.
i eyeball the can
so listless intrigued hungry
today SPAM will die

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14855.
SPAM and mac and cheese
the prisoner's last request
guards all licked the plate

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14856.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
Wibble Wobble Wubble Wum
Bad Smells Emanate

--Froglips, little-sense-big-mouth@zip-a-dee-doo-dah.co.uk

14857.
yo yo SPAM SPAM SPAM
have to eat the lamb lamb lamb
pass the ham ham ham

--fugan, fugan81@hotmail.com

14858.
Schwarzenegger stars
in a new cyborg movie:
The SPAMinator.

--Chuck Beard

14859.
SPAM, stick, fire, roast, eat,
so many primal urges
satisfied at once.

--Chuck Beard

14860.
Secret martial art
Finding a SPAM fu sensei
Is a worthy quest

--Chuck Beard

14861.
If SPAM were not here,
what would we call unwanted
electronic mail?

--Chuck Beard

14862.
Soapbox rhetoric
Long live the SPAMalution!
Streetcorner crazies

--Chuck Beard

14863.
No one expected
The SPAMish Inquisition
To seek meat sins here

--Chuck Beard

14864.
reckless bon vivants
our motto is carpe SPAM
we seek adventure

--Chuck Beard

14865.
War atrocities
SPAM bombs ruled inhumane by
Geneva Accords

--Chuck Beard

14866.
SPAM jerky has an
unprecedented shelf life
for long-term storage.

--Chuck Beard

14867.
Comic book hero
SPAM Man is invincible
Foes fear his SPAM Blast

--Chuck Beard

14868.
What about SPAM Lite,
smoke flavor, or turkey? They
should not be ignored.

--Chuck Beard

14869.
liquid SPAM in tank
hot and cold SPAM on tap for
all your dining needs

--Chuck Beard

14870.
once upon a time
sunsets conjured apricot
SPAM altered my world

--scott debie, jonah64@hotmail.com

14871.
X marks the spot. I
dig obsessively. Must find
buried SPAM. Must find.

--Fozzie

14872.
Blind date swallows SPAM
loaves whole. "Self," I think, "Good thing
you learned the Heimlich."

--Fozzie

14873.
One, Two, Three, Four, SPAM
Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, SPAM
Twelve, Thirteen, SPAM, SPAM!

--Nathan Powers, natetureboy7@juno.com

14874.
Deep blue, bright yellow.
The square form stands ready in
my steady cross-hairs.

--Alex Silbajoris, asilbajo@hotmail.com

14875.
I Do Love The SPAM
The Eighth Wonder of the World
The Delicious Meat!

--Nathan Powers, natureboy7@juno.com

14876.
stokely management
odd-shaped building at u.t.
looks like can of SPAM

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14877.
Join our SPAM cafe
Come and hear us read SPAMku
End night with SPAM fight

--Sue&Kathy, vinkat@erols.com

14878.
oh she cried aloud
fanning the covers in bed
more reprocessed SPAM

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14879.
if SPAM were john prine
would it have to tour so much
SPAM should just stay SPAM

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14880.
i'm the talisman
i hold the key to the SPAM
that is who i am

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14881.
craig likes SPAM most cold
warm it just runs right through him
winter is SPAM time

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14882.
SPAMcakes for breakfast
SPAMburgers on buns for lunch
SPAM roast for dinner

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14883.
Marvel the SPAM can!
Admire its shape and its size!
And the meat inside!

--Nathan Powers, natetureboy7@juno.com

14884.
The wonderful SPAM!
SPAM is the other white meat
It's a tasty treat

--Nathan Powers, natureboy7@juno.com

14885.
once upon a time
sunsets conjured apricot
pre-SPAM aesthetic

--scott

14886.
Pink is a pleasure
Please press in a clove tonight
Hot, delicious SPAM!

--Nancy B

14887.
I smell the meat stench
the processed hoof ear hair dick
I'm home again, SPAM

--Garetha, garethaspanklin@hotmail.com

14888.
Composing SPAMku
makes cubicle's drudgery
bearable again.

--Chuck Beard

14889.
SPAM is made from pork
In the Witness Protection
Program, do not tell

--Chuck Beard

14890.
load potato gun
with SPAM cylinders instead
of spuds, watch the fun

--Chuck Beard

14891.
Experimental
SPAM armor was a failure
Ouch, back to Kevlar

--Chuck Beard

14892.
Artificial SPAM
flavor is an idea
whose time has now come.

--Chuck Beard

14893.
Army SPAM rations
have very long shelf lives but
have caused mutinies.

--Chuck Beard

14894.
The Sporg are here, "You
will be asSPAMilated"
is their battle cry.

--Chuck Beard

14895.
My lover rips one
Gack! SPAM fart! I wretch and roll
Between our clean sheets.

--Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14896.
Fry SPAM in Crisco;
Serve it with cheese and mayo.
I hate my husband.

--Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14897.
I twirl in my dress
And pearls, hair done, long nails, proud
Of my SPAM Souffle.

--Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14898.
I used to like SPAM,
But every day? Is my wife
trying to kill me?

--Glenn Paul, qwikquote@aol.com

14899.
My wife twirls in pearls.
Thoroughly in love with me.
I ate her SPAM dish.

--Glenn Paul, qwikquote@aol.com

14900.
I came out today!
The Monkey is off my back.
That's right, I eat SPAM!

--tbone4


Move forwards to Numbers 14901-15000.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.