SPAM Haiku 14601-14700

Move backwards to Numbers 14501-14600.


14601.
I moved to Europe
Can't find SPAM across the pond
Back to the U.S.!
--Ben Tallen, btallen@earthling.net

14602.
Monday, as I surf
Online is the SPAM-ku page
I can work no more

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14603.
Never ate SPAM, but
Having read SPAMku archives
Not sure I want to

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14604.
O'SPAM-o-weh, O...
In mighty Pinkie jungle
Lions die tonight

--Brian Bartley, bsbartley@integrityonline.com

14605.
Online with Pink Hat
All icons are pinkish cubes
My SPAMix O.S.

--Brian Bartley, bsbartley@integrityonline.com

14606.
Cast your SPAM upon
the waters * it will return
rancid and still pink.

--BCB, bcb@SPAMpsalms

14607.
Greasy pink dreadlocks...
Or is it spaghetti-pie?
Rasta SPAM Pasta!

--Brian Bartley, bsbartley@integrityonline.com

14608.
Hormel makes changes:
Pink nutricious(???) dentifrice...
Monofluoro SPAM

--Brian Bartley, bsbartley@integrityonline.com

14609.
Pink tube a penny!
One last time brushing for poor
Lenny DuKenney

--Brian Bartley, bsbartley@integrityonline.com

14610.
Pain relieving cream
So improved my evening meal
SPAM and balm BenGay

--Ben Gastrotormenti, BenG@methylsalicylSPAM.com

14611.
Altogether PINK
Coats stomach but does not soothe
Ah! SPAMto Bismol

--Ben Bismuth, BenB@SPAMuthSubsalicylate.com

14612.
My intellect is
derived chiefly from my brain's
composition: SPAM.

--Fozzie

14613.
I like to spread SPAM
on almost everything: bread,
cake, denim, spiders . . .

--Fozzie

14614.
. . . hair, traffic signals,
etcet'ra. But I spread SPAM
on you with regret.

--Fozzie

14615.
SPAM I adore you
my tastebuds tingle for you
take me, take me now

--John Larrigan, jaylarigan@hotmail.com

14616.
Ahead of your time;
In a hundred years, all food
Will be just like SPAM

--TFBW

14617.
Oh durable SPAM
Canned on the day I was born
Shows no sign of age

--TFBW

14618.
Only Jeff Stryker
in a cold shower has more
shrinkage then fried SPAM.

--Eleanore of Aquitaine, EleanoreX@aol.com

14619.
Get SPAM while it's hot
Luncheon meat ready to eat
Pork, ham, chicken parts

--Kristy Munson, kristymunson@hotmail.com

14620.
My dog would eat SPAM,
Gluten-glutton, he would be.
Oh no! Call the vet!

--Nonnie

14621.
Ford had Edsel, and
Grunenthal, thalidomide.
So? Hormel makes SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14622.
globular pink meat
packaged in a tin can, what?
my cat won't eat it

--funcrusher@myworldmail.com

14623.
Why do y'all eat SPAM
I don't cuz sam I is not
What is SPAM made of

--Jason McKinnon, BigJP2@hotmail.com

14624.
I long for this meat
Sitting sweetly on my plate
Yes! it is you, SPAM

--SPAMCrAzY

14625.
Mystery of SPAM!
Is my SPAM some unknown thing?
Or is it just meat?

--SPAMCrAzY

14626.
A host's dilemma:
What do you serve with SPAM? Red,
white, or ipecac?

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14627.
We devour SPAM, pigs
wallow in our sewage: food
chain comes full circle.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14628.
Anticipation
I eat SPAM; I feel no change
Anticlimactic

--TFBW

14629.
Be SPAM or not SPAM?
Shakespearian questioning
Of little Hamlet?

--Anonymous

14630.
My jaw is broken
If I smoosh it for awhile
I could use a straw!

--Anonymous

14631.
Are pre-born piglets
resting in the coffin can
silently screaming?

--J-Mag

14632.
Eye and snout and ear
Other parts not meant for food.
A grisly morsel!

--Anonymous

14633.
What magic process
That turns the inedible
Into a SPAM treat

--Anonymous

14634.
O porcine treasure,
Sphinxlike and blush-innocent--
Give up your secrets!

--w taylor

14635.
Some say life arose
from the primordial ooze.
Not true: it was SPAM.

--Alex Wild

14636.
Y2K is here
I wonder if I can sell
My SPAM on eBay

--Anonymous

14637.
If I had some SPAM
I could build a pink castle
Then I could eat it

--Anonymous

14638.
Pink goo in a can?
Oh sign of Apocalypse!
J. Falwell was right.

--Alex Wild

14639.
Pink stain marks the dress.
Bill denies Monica, but
Sneaks out to buy SPAM.

--Alex Wild

14640.
Dribbling SPAM down the
floor, he shoots the trey . . . Count it!
March Madness, baby!

--Fozzie

14641.
The key opens up . . .
slice down the lane . . . elevate . . .
throw it down . . . SPAM DUNK!

--Fozzie

14642.
Inside A Blue Tin
Digested In Thirteen Months
Mighty Ham Grenade

--Al Speltz

14643.
3-D dreams of SPAM
Mattresses soaked with SPAM goop
Hey! Smell my moustache!

--Moldi Kakes

14644.
To eat cans of SPAM
Makes one move very slowly
like my greasy dad.

--Alissa

14645.
Blasphemous haiku
you vicious SPAM slanderers.
Shame! Secret eaters.

--S. Anthony

14646.
Cigarette crushed out
My lover sleeps beside me
I compose SPAM-ku

--S. Anthony

14647.
Thousands of SPAM-ku
let us revere SPAM, our muse
inciting such art

--S. Anthony

14648.
Nude And On My Plate
Shake That Pork Product, Baby
Dance for me SPAM, Dance

--Johnny Mopp

14649.
Sebaceous Pre-formed
Artificial Meat: Oh, yes!
So appetizing.

--Reggie Bignose, eatmySPAM@once.ca

14650.
the call of tin-tin
a german shepherd? herge?
an empty SPAMoch

--Anonymous

14651.
SPAM workers on strike
Union calls boycott, strike done
Can't stop the boycott

--Tavis Barr, tavis.barr@columbia.edu

14652.
SPAM eating contest
Winner wolfs ten cans, next day
SPAM digests stomach

--Tavis Barr, tavis.barr@columbia.edu

14653.
8000 A.D.
SPAM-eating city unearthed.
Preserved perfectly.

--Tavis Barr, tavis.barr@columbia.edu

14654.
SPAM baseball fever
Home run innards spray on crowd
Popcorn you can wear

--Tavis Barr, tavis.barr@columbia.edu

14655.
Bridge the universe
With a gelatinous block
A Simple SPAM Span

--Dave Johnson, planchkpro@aol.com

14656.
what parallels; like
the SPAM itself, these poems are
STILL HERE! No spoilage!

--Screamin' Phil Erickson, pje@haystack.mit.edu

14657.
Gigantic Mountain
Buzzing around the small hill
Summer is over

--Anonymous

14658.
gelatinous glob,
i love you simply because
you resemble mom

--Byronamoose

14659.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
my husband loves yummy SPAM
SPAM goddess am i

--SPAM goddess (wife of the illustrious leader), SPAMgoddess@SPAMline.com

14660.
Between your pink flesh
and gelatinous meat is
viscera of life

--sandra seaman, prrowl@hotmail.com

14661.
Our stinging lips touch
Salt and SPAM add flavor here
Though you don't eat meat

--sandra seaman, prrowl@hotmail.com

14662.
Ridicule is here
The essence of nostalgia
Sad and soft and pink

--sandra seaman, prrowl@hotmail.com

14663.
SPAMless weeks roll by.
Eventually I see I
can suffer no more.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

14664.
A key, a can. . .oh!
A trail of slime. . .oh my God!
"Naked SPAM Found Dead!"

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

14665.
SPAM spring sale starts soon.
I pretend not to notice.
Haven't slept in weeks!

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

14666.
Jelly, tootsie bits,
hunks of butt, and piggie tits.
Dreams are made of these.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

14667.
Frustrated I stare
Blue and pink submission form
SPAM-ku writers' block

--TFBW

14668.
Frankenstein's monster
Always packs a can of SPAM
To fashion spare parts.

--B. Karloff

14669.
Going to college
next year. Will be poor, plan to
eat my weight in SPAM.

--Captain Obvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

14670.
Choosing my college
is based on proximity
to Austin for job.

--Captain Obvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

14671.
While filling FAFSA
government asks if I like
SPAM. I panic!!! No.

--Captain Obvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

14672.
SAR comes back.
Government knows I lied. I
am denied Pell Grants.

--Captain Obvious, captainobvious@rocketmail.com

14673.
Devastation sets
in. I sit in a corner
and binge on SPAM loaf.

--Captain Obvious, captainobvious@rocketmail.com

14674.
After gathering
my wits I enroll in a
college near Austin.

--Captain Obvious, captainobvious@rocketmail.com

14675.
My roommate hates SPAM.
I drop out because of his
alienation.

--Captain Obvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

14676.
After dropping out
I become SPAM junkie. I
quit my job to eat.

--Captain Obvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

14677.
I lose my house, my
car, my girlfriend, but I still
have my SPAM cravings.

--Captain Obvious, CaptainObvious@rocketmail.com

14678.
I quit eating SPAM
and started smoking instead.
Develop bad cough.

--Captain Obvious, Captainobvious@rocketmail.com

14679.
Family finds me
in a gutter, dead, with SPAM
joint between my teeth.

--Captain Obvious, captainobvious@rocketmail.com

14680.
Death report states that
I died of a "Sodium
Nitrate overdose."

--Captain Obvious, Captainobvious@rocketmail.com

14681.
My tombstone reads, "He
who lies here was a lover
of Hormel SPiced hAM."

--Captain Obvious, Captainobvious@rocketmail.com

14682.
Eat it day or night
Rub it on me with delight
Oh SPAM I love you!

--SPAMbo

14683.
He Invented SPAM
She: "Marry Me, Meat Master!"
Little Man, Big Meat

--Johnny Mopp

14684.
reeking smelly crap
just a bunch of nasty fat
makes my poop turn green

--matt teusch, weezer1698aol.com

14685.
This SPAM is nasty
Do you know where it came from?
Is it safe to eat?

--JOEL CRISMAN, MHAHOTBOY@AOL.COM

14686.
I really like SPAM
It is not a joke for me
SPAM is swell foodstuff

--Ember

14687.
weightily encased
laden pink, trapped in the can
where the key release?

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14688.
it stands so alone.
all try to compare, none close;
SPAM: perfect porky

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14689.
Armies go marching
Food, glorious food--what's this?
SPAM! They all walk on.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14690.
It is bad hair day.
No gel, no mousse, and no spray!
Grab the can of SPAM.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14691.
Want hand job, mister?
No need--pink, porky, perfect. . .
reach towards the SPAM.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14692.
Chickens run--Dinner!
Do not reject farm co-hort,
here chick, chick, chick--SPAM!

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14693.
Inhale the fragrance,
observe the color of sex,
swallow juice of--SPAM.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14694.
Dirty pinkness, Oh!
Scalding evacuation;
Color the Charmin.

--Andy Cavallari

14695.
favor pinkish pig
smile upon cubes of salt flesh
communion of SPAM

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14696.
Cut thin, sides jointed,
slick with can juice and jelly,
lie under sheet SPAM.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14697.
emergency food?
dream rations?--sell the shelf life,
SPAM: food for 'morrow.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14698.
Porcines aspire to
the ever-life of steel tin,
eternal preserve.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14699.
A fleshy peep-show!
Jig'ling, wet, tumescent meat--
Look! Turn SPAM key more!

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com

14700.
In. Out. In and out.
Slip-slide, in, out, juices spurt,
SPAM has left the can.

--foehn, scirocco@hotbot.com


Move forwards to Numbers 14701-14800.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.