SPAM Haiku 14101-14200

Move backwards to Numbers 14001-14100.

14101.
Dinner served to me,
Love prospect? She serves me SPAM!
Slam, Bam, Thank you Ma'am!

--Jeffery Scharn, iron_bar@hotmail.com

14102.
I return your ring
And the SPAM that you fed me.
Here! Take back your crap.

--Cathy's Sig Other

14103.
So pretty and pink
Until you started to stink...
I opened your can.

--Meha Mehaha

14104.
A knight in armor
beaten to pulp with war clubs--
earliest known SPAM.

--From 'A Brief History of SPAM', perkin@freeuk.com

14105.
The Reformation
The famous "Diet of Worms"
There was no SPAM then

--From 'A Brief History of SPAM', perkin@freeuk.com

14106.
The Crimean War.
Florence Nightingale brings SPAM
with her lamp at night.

--From 'A Brief history of SPAM', perkin@freeuk.com

14107.
"Those randy G.I.s,"
said Granny "with their nylons,
their gum, and their SPAM."

--From 'A Brief history of SPAM', perkin@freeuk.com

14108.
The Magna Carta
A landmark in history
Does not mention SPAM

--From 'A Brief history of SPAM', perkin@freeuk.com

14109.
Scott in Antarctic
Starving, freezing, and dying
Dreams of home and SPAM

--From 'A Brief history of SPAM', perkin@freeuk.com

14110.
Parcels for Tommies
On The Somme. They tear at them
Hoping for some SPAM.

--From 'A Brief history of SPAM', perkin@freeuk.com

14111.
The Royal Navy
The jolly tars eat only
Biscuit, Rum, and Pork

--From 'A Brief history of SPAM', perkin@freeuk.com

14112.
Awful TV cooks
Greencardless aliens all
Know squat about SPAM

--Eat SPAM And Squat

14113.
The prisoner weeps.
Why so sad at the sentence?
It is death by SPAM.

--Kristin, hrairah@aol.com

14114.
This time Ralph did it.
Powed her right in the kisser.
Alice fed him SPAM.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

14115.
SPAM airline food snacks
Stick to your panties good food--
Finger licking good!

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

14116.
Matter is not dead
It is alive....power-filled
SPAM lives! Yes, SPAM lives!

--Prof. Ivan Notherdrink

14117.
Wanna be a monk.
SPAM will be my new girlfriend.
Yes, SPAM and God. Yes.

--Mark Peters, petersm50@hotmail.com

14118.
I never eat SPAM
And I never burn women
Or mutilate men.

--Mark Peters, petersm50@hotmail.com

14119.
SPAM ooh-la-la SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM sssSPAM oh mmmm SPAMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Won't you be my SPAM?

--Mark Peters, petersm50@hotmail.com

14120.
The same old story.
I cut my dick on the can.
But I still love SPAM.

--Mark Peters, petersm50@hotmail.com

14121.
Eldritch, wing'd Old Ones
tend singular vats of slime.
SPAM is shoggoth flesh.

--H. P. Porkcraft (a.k.a. Harry Protagonist]

14122.
Me? Wait for a fork?
Bah! You know not true passion!
Hand me the plunger!

--Robert Hurd, roberthurd@hotmail.com

14123.
Gelatinous ooze
Putrid stench of seared beast Flesh
SPAM! Instead of soap!

--Robert Hurd, roberthurd@hotmail.com

14124.
Porcine male-meat born
Oscar Mayer reject heap
Taboo love beckons

--Robert Hurd, roberthurd@hotmail.com

14125.
Fried, boiled, mashed, raw, Probed;
SPAM breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner:
Have I a tapeworm?

--Robert Hurd, roberthurd@hotmail.com

14126.
Yummy Yummy Yum
Yummy Yummy Yummy Yum
Yummy Yummy SPAM

--Anonymous

14127.
diamond girl so rough
fishnet stockings stuffing girth
gelatinous SPAM

--moree, _moree@excite.com

14128.
my queen is bleeding
completely dethroned is she
lying dormant, SPAM

--moree, _moree@excite.com

14129.
Creepy. Pink and moist.
It's an eternal puzzle.
What the heck is it?

--Dave Sagehorn, monkeymonger@hotmail.com

14130.
harvest moon shines on
three buck tramping like threshers
in a field of SPAM

--mgeraty@atgsystems.com

14131.
The SPAM Holocaust
All is doom and gloom, but my
Blue cans are all safe!

--David Weaver, bubba@tx.com

14132.
SPAM slices make nice
eye patches, pink earplugs to
now make life quiet.

--David Weaver, bubba@tx.com

14133.
Noise near my house sucks.
Big equipment, awful sounds,
SPAM earplugs save me.

--David Weaver, bubba@tx.com

14134.
Rejection notice
rusted can on shelf must think
of date on bottom.

--David Weaver, bubba@tx.com

14135.
I fill out Net form
Hoping, a great job, but wait...
Spam postcard from Dell

--David Weaver, bubba@tx.com

14136.
Resume in pink
Words in indelible ink
I'm spam applicant

--David Weaver, bubba@tx.com

14137.
Meal at fancy place
was not good, service was bad.
Should have just had SPAM.

--David Weaver, bubba@tx.com

14138.
SPAM sits on the beach.
Sweating, enjoying slow roast.
Sand blows, ruins day.

--David Weaver, bubba@tx.com

14139.
Split the SPAM atom
Stratosphere laden with pork
Rosy mushroom cloud

--Wade , WBL56@yahoo.com

14140.
File/New; Save As: Borg.
"Species One: SPAM Sapiens.
Take Galaxy." Run.

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

14141.
Cold steel in the pig
Take it out and burn the flesh
Pig in the cold steel

--me

14142.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
Down the throat and to tummy
Right back up the throat

--me

14143.
Gross "meat" in cold steel
Makes normal people throw up
Take it off of shelves

--Anonymous

14144.
Sunset highlighting
Something Pink Awful Mucus
It is my supper

--Bryan Roach

14145.
There in a forest
Bunnies encased within SPAM
Preserved for all time

--Bryan Roach

14146.
Unable to breathe
I am trapped underwater
Nay, trapped under SPAM!

--Bryan Roach

14147.
Look at the monkeys
Who taught them to win at chess?
SPAM diet, the key

--Bryan Roach

14148.
Awake in the sky
I don't know if I'm dreaming
Never sleep on SPAM

--Bryan Roach

14149.
A dirty secret
Largest taco chain ever
Their meat is all SPAM

--Bryan Roach

14150.
Bullets bounce freely
The terrorists are thwarted
Thanks to the SPAM suit

--Bryan Roach

14151.
You tricky pink cube
Just I know you speak to me
Tell me what to do

--Bryan Roach

14152.
New operation
He's the nicest guy I know
With a heart of SPAM

--Bryan Roach

14153.
Spice rack on my shelf
Might as well throw it away
I can't improve SPAM

--Bryan Roach

14154.
Gump's Mom never said
Life is like a can of SPAM
He was all messed up

--Bryan Roach

14155.
My tongue quivering
Lustful desires are inflamed
One word remains: SPAM

--Bryan Roach

14156.
SPAM sits locked in can
I must know its slimy secrets
I will make it talk

--Bryan Roach

14157.
Gelatinous cube
Gelatin with pseudo-ham
You are meat Jell-O

--Bryan Roach

14158.
The Blair Witch Project,
Scary as a can of SPAM
So very scary

--Jamie Jones, JonesJR3@cardiff.ac.uk

14159.
The grocery store.
Wanting more than I can have
I steal SPAM dollars.

--Jackie Jolliffe, jjolliffe@onebox.com

14160.
Cloud shrouded mountain
Underneath my bed covers
Cherry blossoms wilt

--Robyn De Riche

14161.
No mystery here
The obvious evident
Slurping dead swine parts

--Ino Uno Wuntu

14162.
Wandering Wanda
Made wild love on her Honda
For a chunk of SPAM

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

14163.
I still remember
Lunches of SPAM musubi
......Vegetarian.

--Kalei'a, ltomay1@lsu.edu

14164.
I smoke my fat blunts
I vomit my Bud Light beer
And I eat my SPAM

--Diana Rhea

14165.
Prune blossoms dripping
Sun ripened SPAM is bubbling
Ahhh! It's hot tub time

--Pat De Lizard

14166.
Greasy hair, green teeth
Cellulite and hungry, too
Perfect SPAM cam pose

--OldBearJoe, artisticgnome@yahoo.com

14167.
Smoosh, smoosh gooey goosh
Parts of farts make farts of parts
Brings crease grease and stain

--OldBearJoe, artisticgnome@yahoo.com

14168.
Do splits over SPAM
Inhale all of its goodness
Now go ride your bike

--Kaka Poohpoo

14169.
That meat is so pink
I take it all in one blow
Canned meat free for all

--Rev. Richard Hussler, downonallfours@hotmail.com

14170.
Star SPAMgled Banner
OK, everybody rise
Now wipe off your legs

--Horace Manners, UofC Yes!

14171.
Wheat bagels / smoked SPAM
For the yuppies in Vermont
Served with tofu cheese.

--Amelia Ivanicki

14172.
SPAM, SPAM is it meat
Sometimes it smells like da feet
SPAM, SPAM what a treat

--tony da meat man

14173.
SPAM you disgust me
Your very smell makes me sick
I now go vomit

--Kristin

14174.
SPAM, beautiful SPAM,
The smell is tantalizing,
I would like some more.

--michael sullivan

14175.
S is for SALTY,
P is for its color, PINK,
AM, wow, I am SPAM.

--michael sullivan

14176.
SPAM "loaf"? Au contraire--
Porcine sacrificial rite:
Piglets gave their all.

--T. Fudd Pucker-Tucker, ndu75@earthlink.net

14177.
HAL asked, "Will I dream?"
Piglet reincarnated...
2001 nears.

--T. Fudd Pucker-Tucker, ndu75@earthlink.net

14178.
Primeval cascade
from summer storm; rivulet
frees loaf of clear goo.

--T. Fudd Pucker-Tucker, ndu75@earthlink.net

14179.
Goose me with your grease
Slime me with your SPAM momma
Bop me with your slop

--Bruce Findlay

14180.
Having sex with SPAM?
Come out of the pantry now!
Maury understands.

--Do you really love Spam?, 1-888-45-maury

14181.
The SPAM Madonna
Formed with post-digested meat
A true "work o' fart"

--The First Lady

14182.
SPAM in my pocket
Left my pants in the kitchen
The chef was annoyed

--Anonymous

14183.
Beanie Baby SPAM
Heaped up on aisle 22.
Christmas is cancelled.

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

14184.
The fragrance of SPAM
From the leg pits of winos
Wafts through the trolley.

--The San Francisco Treat

14185.
Butt-puckering good:
Art, beauty, warmth, love, laughter--
The blessings of SPAM.

--Gina Marie Gorgonzola, Da Nort End

14186.
To see is my faith
To taste is my true reward
Pink SPAM is Satan

--Funky Skillet, Decatur, Ga.

14187.
Retarded lunchmeat
Robert E. Lee's favorite--
We really got SPAMmed!

--Funky Skillet, Decatur Ga.

14188.
Ease global hunger
On this compost heap called Earth
Recycle your SPAM

--SPAM....The cream of the crap!

14189.
Brains, ears, nose, and balls,
You have none, I ate it all,
SPAM, SPAM, lovely SPAM.

--Russell

14190.
Keep your damned mouth shut
Stop spraying the room with SPAM
Take your Ritalin

--Musky Goat, Mg@curry.com

14191.
SPAM's been redesigned
However the can hasn't
Look long and closely

--Jessie Meridith

14192.
Adam frying SPAM
Friends express their deep disgust
He is not bothered

--Anonymous

14193.
SPAMifornia
World hepatitis showplace
So much for "Safe Sex"

--Find out about it Get Tested!, www.hepatitis.com

14194.
Pretty Porky Pig.
He wound up getting ground up,
But he made great SPAM!

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

14195.
Halt! Hands up! Don't move,
Or I will turn the key in
This tin of SPAM, sir!

--TFBW (with apologies to The Goons)

14196.
I love to suffer
I chose to eat Hormel SPAM
And wear a hair shirt

--ST. Francis is no sissy

14197.
Bombing foes with SPAM:
The Geneva Convention
Strictly forbids it.

--TFBW

14198.
Loaf slips from the hand
Squashed on floor by careless foot
Not a pretty sight

--TFBW

14199.
Relaxed, I compose
Haiku are good for the soul
Even SPAM haiku

--TFBW

14200.
Y2K stockpile
My tins of baked beans and SPAM
Food and weaponry

--TFBW