SPAM Haiku 13501-13600

Move backwards to Numbers 13401-13500.


13501.
La Casa de SPAM
You can drink the water here
Constipation row
--Lumpy Diapah

13502.
Mount Fuji panties
Blow up the soccer balls Mom--
Feed Jeeves the cat SPAM

--Alison's Buddy, I bloated for Clinton.

13503.
The "Cold War" raged on
Uncle Sam did feed us well
Cold shoulder called SPAM

--*<]:-)~*

13504.
Hurricane Andrew
Dade County ate lots of pets
Bush sent SPAM too late

--Fox in The Bush, 1992 Never Forget!

13505.
The real "Wrath of God"
Come packaged in a blue tin--
A SPAM God grenade.

--Justin Cooper, NY

13506.
Thinkers of the world
Constipated pork-plugged souls
Outhouse SPAMkuers

--Howdy All!

13507.
Ancient SPAM sushi
Pork, in a pig's ass it IS--
Our butt's in your mouth.

--Charlie's Sushi Sty, Where else? San Franciso, Ca.

13508.
"Filet of Warden"
Folsom Prison's finest meal--
Chipped SPAM on creamed toast.

--Johnny Creditt, Folsom prison BLUEs...SPAM & granite.

13509.
New England breakfast
Maple syrup fried SPAM slabs--
Later.....sticky buns.

--Jack Burns

13510.
In the lunchmeat world
Our name is a household word--
The word is "Toilet"!

--Anonymous

13511.
A shiny blue tin
Hermetically sealed contains
Slimy pig innards

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

13512.
The code made no sense--
and the coffee was no help;
wish I'd eaten SPAM.

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13513.
Bruised and bloodied in
a scrape. Recuperating
with SPAM on my face.

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13514.
The alien said,
"Schniffblifftz!" through its hideous
SPAM-spewing nostrils(?).

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13515.
The whiteboard was marked
up with weeks worth of info
on the SPAM project.

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13516.
The end of the world--
Cockroaches versus SPAM will
not be televised!

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13517.
When I touched the SPAM
it blushed and shivered and asked
me if it would hurt.

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13518.
Lucky told me that
the SPAM Archives accepted
nearly anything.

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13519.
"Anything?" I asked.
"Suppose I wrote a haiku
about SPAM shingles?"

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13520.
"Pass," Lucky said.
"I wrote one about a SPAM
powered radio."

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13521.
"But the SPAM would get
on your fingers when you turned
the dial." "Uh huh."

--David Bernstein, bernstein_inc@yahoo.com

13522.
SPAM hanging Willie
Oval Room sink reflections--
Clinton looks normal.

--"Tear out that Damned sink!", Pres. Bush's first Executive Order.

13523.
The smile of your face
In the toilet's pink water
The SPAM hangover

--It's not Betty

13524.
Consider this deed:
Please wrap up a can of SPAM,
mail it to a friend.

--Don Niman

13525.
SPAM dreck dreary day
Chopsticks are of no use here--
Graveyard Soup du Jour.

--Polka Dot

13526.
Pink teeth healthy gums
SPAM flecks I'm no longer starved--
Mint floss for dessert

--Polka Dot

13527.
Howard Johnson's SPAM
Twenty eight different shapes--
One awful flavor.

--Cole Meany, iranuran@once.com

13528.
1/1/2000.
Vegas? Ayer's Rock? Time Square? Nah.
The tube. Dick Clark. SPAM.

--Tbone4

13529.
Can you ever have
a friend who knows your deepest
Thoughts? SPAM is that friend.

--Tbone4

13530.
Deep manure wallow
SPAM gaily floats to the top--
The cream of the crap!

--Billy Sullivan

13531.
None here eat pink SPAM
Garden's strewn with empty cans--
Houdini lunchmeat?

--Valarie

13532.
SPAM Prevents Acne?
Ever see a pig with zits--
Eat your SPAM daily.

--Ms. Piggy

13533.
Slab of SPAM on bread
With Miracle Whip and cheese
I miss my granddad

--Maude, unclemaude@hotmail.com

13534.
the SPAM on my hand
pinkish with pig testicles
it is so yummy

--James Knabe, mr.feldman@juno.com

13535.
I see the pink meat
I shall eat it with a fork
SPAM is good for you

--Leland Stanford, lelandstandford@hotmail.com

13536.
Through a big round hole
In the dark yesterday's SPAM--
Bobs with corn and sprouts.

--Outhouse Bob, The North Woods, Dickey, Me.

13537.
Millennium bugs
Eaters of virtual SPAM--
Et yours too Brutus?

--Ceasar De Ceased

13538.
Grisly SPAM murders
Now a serene gaseous view--
Of dead blue soldiers.

--Terrence O'Malley

13539.
Consciousness suspends
SPAM is asleep in the can--
A one pound land mine.

--Peg Leggo

13540.
Mama served us SPAM
And ate without her dentures--
Man that turned me on.

--Ima Vicktem, aka: Slick Willie

13541.
"What is the SPAM?" a
Child asked, bringing me the can.
Lucky Whitman's dead.

--DrLit

13542.
Never mind the SPAM
Why not "can" the damned SPAMku?
And keep the lid down!

--Anonymous

13543.
SPAMku is NOT prose
SPAMku authors are NOT pros--
But I be.......A Pro.

--Anonymous

13544.
SPAMenco guitar
SPAMish music at its best--
If you give a pluck.

--Montoya B. Aguitar, Made out of SPAM cans.

13545.
Pretty and slimy
The SPAM in the summer sun
Ants praise the heavens

--Carrie and Nicolio, Weerdmonky@aol.com

13546.
The noisome pinkness
of SPAM approaches my mouth,
slides down the poor throat.

--Anonymous

13547.
There's no skull and bones
Anywhere on a SPAM can--
They're packed IN the can.

--Phil Cooper

13548.
A snot from her nose
Fell on my SPAM when she sneezed--
And hid in the gel.

--Santulo

13549.
Writers of SPAMku
Are college whipper-snappers
Who can pull it off.

--Dennis Moran

13550.
I love Hillary
With her cork-screwed pig dink tongue--
SPAM The Apple girl!

--Mr. Brownjeans, brownjeans@butt.come

13551.
Chopped and fried with SPAM,
they are a redneck staple:
Hormelized onions.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13552.
SPAM-ku diet plan
(I've lost ten pounds already):
Surf here before meals.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13553.
In my dream, wheels spin.
Slot machine stops: SPAM - SPAM - SPAM.
But what does it mean?

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13554.
The doctor chuckled,
"Your SPAM count is through the roof!"
"Clean living," I said.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13555.
Load bearing bridge, O
It falters. Low bidder's work,
SPAM in concrete mixed!

--Gita Smith, gsmith@ajc.com

13556.
The scars of SPAMku
In the stomach of my mind--
Pepto my vision.

--Captain Fishgap

13557.
Fighting to survive
I pop the top and slop SPAM--
Lottery addict.

--Frankie Rodrigues, So. Calipornia

13558.
On Phish Summer tour
Fatty veggie burritos!
No, thanks I'll have SPAM

--David Miller, dmmiller@onramp.net

13559.
Watchers of SPAMku
Participants not of Life--
Eaters of dry words.

--Sonya Gotta Gogh, getalife@lastchance.com

13560.
Hole in one riders
Dump their Harley dreams and stare--
At this......my SPAMku.

--SPAMkufitti

13561.
SPAM hockey tourney
Toothless fugly balding men
Canadian crack

--Puck, Hockey

13562.
Life's slippery slopes
Paved with cold blocks of pink SPAM
And I'm barefooted.

--Anonymous, Anonymous

13563.
SPAM is like a man
Soft and mushy in the can
No good for a girl

--squirty

13564.
Cat tails in the pond
Empty blue SPAM cans float by--
But where are the cats?

--Gregory Bateson

13565.
I boarded my cat
Because he ate my SPAM hash--
With a two by four.

--Gregory Bateson

13566.
Vegetarian
And sane I am, things which don't
A SPAM eater make

--The redhead

13567.
deep in a dream i
cook rice and eggs, but auwe
no SPAM--a nightmare

--Kapi, Tjapukaii@aol.com

13568.
Should the SPAM Haiku
website have as its address
"SPAM Haiku dot SPAM"?

--dr soo dho nimh

13569.
Blue shorts strain, contain
A jiggling SPAM avatar--
Pink meat packed too tight.

--DrLit

13570.
Just one thing is worse
For your digestion than SPAM
It's Pabst Blue Ribbon

--Mike Hunt

13571.
Juicy canned swine butt
Blue Monday's much bluer now--
But I'm in The Pink.

--Cole Itus

13572.
Cat throws up again.
It looks so pink and lumpy--
Ooops, he ate the SPAM!

--Daphna, daphnag@mindspring.com

13573.
Eating fifty cans
of SPAM for lunch or supper
makes you very full.

--D. Edwards

13574.
What thing do I see?
A can of SPAM just for me!
I am filled with glee.

--D. Edwards

13575.
Nights of SPAM and gin
My panties full of compost
My man likes my butt

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

13576.
Roseanne Barr eats SPAM
I know by looking at her
The pig parts show through

--Anon, Jesse_burns@yahoo.com

13577.
Oh, SPAM, you found me.
Oh, how did you find me, SPAM?
How did you find me?

--Mr. JON, mr.jon@gurlmail.com

13578.
Y2K problems
Shrink into the background as
You consider SPAM

--Anonymous

13579.
"Reset All Inputs"
Then try to think of one more
Stupid SPAM haiku

--Anonymous

13580.
The, ah, real reason:
Mary Joe was eating SPAM
At Chappaquidick

--"Teddy", ekennedy@capitalhill.gov

13581.
I hate my master.
When we have SPAM he never
Lets me lick the can.

--"Buddy", diversiondog@whitehouse.gov

13582.
Dr. Frankenstein
Made more than just that monster.
Can y'all guess what else?

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13583.
Magician's prop: SPAM
"Now you see it; now you don't."
I like this guy's act.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13584.
Happy and jiggling,
fresh young SPAM charms the picnic.
Old folks sweetly smile.

--Junkyard God

13585.
Dad grabs last SPAMWICH.
"That's okay. I've had enough."
I feign contentment.

--Junkyard God

13586.
Mix SPAM with ALPO.
Dog's won't eat it otherwise.
Heart Worm's silent scream.

--Junkyard God

13587.
Muscle, bone, organs:
Evidence all life arose
from a primal SPAM.

--Junkyard God

13588.
Alien ship lands.
Laugh when they see cans of SPAM.
Their book: "To Serve Man"

--Junkyard God

13589.
Y2K failures
dump raw SPAM in the river.
Behold: Silent Spring

--Junkyard God

13590.
Yellow vinyl floor,
A friendly rancidity,
SPAM at the Lokeys'

--J. English Smith, wamba1@mindspring.com

13591.
Boat on the Mekong
I choke on my Lao boyfriend
As SPAM slows the leaks

--Steven, stevensteven@prodigy.net

13592.
This old can of SPAM
Has more living brain cells than
Albert Einstein's brain

--Steven

13593.
Oh, A B C D
E F G, H I J K
SPAM's enough for me

--Steven

13594.
Road kill in my fridge
SPAM in my freezer, freezing
I miss you so much

--Steven

13595.
She looks delicious.
I'd like to clean her kitchen,
Spank her with my SPAM.

--Russell W. Holloway, Russellholloway@usa.com

13596.
I do my yoga
to offset the effects of
eating pig paste--SPAM.

--Sir Fartzalott, docyoga@aol.com

13597.
"Binary" weapons
now outlawed by the U.N.
include SPAM haggis.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13598.
I replaced the suet
with SPAM, in our birdfeeder.
Had a Silent Spring.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13599.
Denny's Grand Slam meals
now include a side of SPAM.
Minorities sue.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13600.
My SPAM-ku reared up,
raised its ugly head and croaked,
"Don't make more like me!"

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com


Move forwards to Numbers 13601-13700.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.