SPAM Haiku 10501-10600

Move backwards to Numbers 10401-10500.


10501.
There's this one rock band
Still trying to sell CDs
Their name is Pearl Spam
--Rhiannon, LadySomnus@aol.com

10502.
Rub SPAM on your skin
Secret of the Orient
The end to wrinkles

--Rhiannon, LadySomnus@aol.com

10503.
SPAM once had a dream
Upon the cloud of all meat
Chicken took first place

--Ryan the Beeky, rwkspecial@aol.com

10504.
SPAM at U of U.
Is that all there is for lunch?
Suicide today!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10505.
I should be working!
The computer looks like SPAM.
What is wrong with me?

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10506.
All I do all day
Is listen to Rome and write
Spamku poetry.

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10507.
Smoker's lung tissue
lost its healthy pink firmness.
He needs a SPAMplant.

--Jim Rugh, jrugh@tmh.tmc.edu

10508.
To a poor leper
SPAM tastes much better than what
He is used to. SKIN!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10509.
Would you like some SPAM?
No thanks--I'll just have ground flesh.
They are both the same!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10510.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM,
I sent one and now can't stop
Making spam haiku!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10511.
Invisible, pink.
In unicorn communion
Atheists eat SPAM.

--Xphobe, nogods@this.address

10512.
All night long I dream
Of the King's blue canned pink feast!
Now, morning sickness!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10513.
Menendez brothers.
You thought they used a shotgun.
Really they used SPAM!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

10514.
Grocery shelf fight.
Proud SPAM assured of glory.
Treet plots its revenge.

--Junkyard God

10515.
The can cracks open...
Meaty vapors tease the nose...
Hungry mouth waters.

--Junkyard God

10516.
Modern lumberjacks
eat healthy. They won't touch SPAM.
Weep for the forest.

--Junkyard God

10517.
Tuna salad? No.
Mix mayo and SPAM. Tastes good
and saves a dolphin.

--Junkyard God

10518.
I like SPAM haiku.
Tickles the mind, warms the heart,
and churns the stomach.

--Junkyard God

10519.
Hicks in Iowa
wouldn't know good food if it
came in a blue can.

--Anonymous

10520.
SPAM home delivered:
Barnicle's/George Carlin's gags
Wrapped in newspaper.

--Drunk or What?

10521.
Barnicles cling on
To hulls of rotted vessels
And cannot eat SPAM

--Drunk or What?

10522.
Hey there working man!
Just how do you like your SPAM?
Wrapped in newspaper?

--Global Dysfunction

10523.
Steve Worthem likes SPAM
Eats it--that misguided gent
From San Francisco

--Anonymous

10524.
Lucky street people.
The Hormelless without SPAM.
Not too redundant.

--Lee Malone, leemalone@aol.com

10525.
Dark secret of SPAM.
It need not be in a can.
Maggots won't touch it.

--Junkyard God

10526.
Dark secret of SPAM.
With time, it gains more power.
Patiently, it waits.

--Junkyard God

10527.
Dark secret of SPAM.
A pink horde in blue armor.
The many are one.

--Junkyard God

10528.
Dark secret of SPAM.
Sing its praise cyberaddicts!
Behold the new GOD!

--Junkyard God

10529.
Dark secret of SPAM.
The shredded slimy carnage
will see its revenge.

--Junkyard God

10530.
Dark secret of SPAM.
You will keep it forever--
Arterial plaques.

--Junkyard God

10531.
Dark secret of SPAM.
I count fingers and obsess.
Yes, my love...my muse.

--Junkyard God

10532.
Public school lunchroom.
Fast and furious they fly.
A Hormel food fight.

--Dave Mottern, davidm@voicenet.com

10533.
glowing in mystique
heavenly rectangular
is it merely food?

--Victoria, bookworm@iglou.com

10534.
Jesus ate his SPAM
DAD!!!!! You forsook me.....prefer
Crucifixion,....PLEASE!

--Pressedham Don`tnap, docyoga@aol.com

10535.
Christ asked for change and
bought can of SPAM...then drove meat
merchant from temple.

--Pressedham Don`tnap, docyoga@aol.com

10536.
Monica's best dress
Dripping porcine emission
Not semen, but SPAM

--Si vas para Chile, TeRuego@viajero

10537.
Strangers in the night
Exchanging SPAM ku, buh, buh
buh, buh... sounds so wrong.

--blue spam, none

10538.
Ahem, I am Sam.
Do you like green eggs and SPAM?
No, Fuck Off and Die.

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

10539.
Monica L's dress
Is tested by F.B.I.
Found to have dried SPAM

--odelphi@interserv.com

10540.
Soirée in Office
Clinton denies having sex
Just having SPAM lunch

--odelphi@interserv.com

10541.
I'm broke. Lost my job.
The loathesome cube mocks my pride.
Shut up! Just SHUT UP!

--Junkyard God

10542.
Only thing that could
Wake Lazarus from his death
Frying SPAM wafting

--Doktor Jeep, cheetah@fertechnology.com

10543.
Andrew Kennedy
Feeds his pet iguana SPAM.
It's true I tell you!

--Anonymous

10544.
Oh pathetic pork
Mashed into a muddy loaf
I squeal with delight

--Kevin Walker, magnison@aol.com

10545.
the taut fleshy cube
glistens from the congealed glaze
a wealth of pink gold

--Kevin Walker, magnison@aol.com

10546.
The sickly sweet smell
It's like candy coated barf
Great chunks of vomit?

--Anonymous

10547.
Thou totest it home
It bringeth thou to thine knees
The Trojan Horse wins

--Kevin Walker, Maginson@aol.com

10548.
The sow has cleft foot
The SPAM loaf has an odd gel
Give me the pig trough

--Kevin Walker, Maginson@aol.com

10549.
"Cold cuts anyone"?
the mortician asked kindly.
"Sure! Just bury SPAM."

--Kevin Walker, Magnison@aol.com

10550.
Eat some SPAM today
And by this time in twelve years
It will pass through you

--Uncle Jay

10551.
The number of cans
Directly proportional
To number of deaths

--Uncle Jay

10552.
Pigs migrate westward
Genetic mass exodus
Hormel by the sea

--Uncle Jay

10553.
Baby pink and smooth
Yet at birth, covered in gel
Kinda looks like SPAM

--Uncle Jay

10554.
Alternative band
With their huge new hit "Gel Bait"
The Smashing SPAMcans

--Uncle Jay

10555.
Their last big single
"Some Pretty Awful Meat, yeah"
Got some great reviews

--Uncle Jay

10556.
We held a survey
"You have a choice: death or SPAM"
Death won. No surprise.

--Uncle Jay

10557.
What is SPAM made of?
4 out of 5 vets agree
People should not know.

--Uncle Jay

10558.
Click on can with mouse
Can opens and crap comes out
Interactive SPAM

--Uncle Jay

10559.
Liposuction waste
Hormel's contract with surgeons
You eat what you are

--Uncle Jay

10560.
"Look, mommy, roadkill."
"Yes, honey, it's a dead pig."
Hormel has pork-trak.

--Uncle Jay

10561.
Cinderella cried
At the ball she lost her SPAM
Prince Charming ate it

--Uncle Jay

10562.
Sleeping Beauty tried
She ate SPAM and fell asleep
Breath chased away Prince

--Uncle Jay

10563.
Stephen King's new book
Pink evil from a blue can
Pure horror: The SPAM.

--Uncle Jay

10564.
Coward. Just try some.
If Marines can drink urine,
Why can't you eat SPAM?

--Uncle Jay

10565.
Canned pork and coitus
By-products and intercourse
Happy sex with meat

--Uncle Jay

10566.
Here is what's in it
Oil, lard, fat, grease, shortening, gel
And perhaps some pork

--Uncle Jay

10567.
Stains on my new tie
I eat SPAM vigorously
Grease and drool meet silk

--Uncle Jay

10568.
Pure love on the 'net
HTML. SPAM haiku
We're dying to meat

--Uncle Jay

10569.
SPAM's my second choice
If I'm not eating Pork Brains
I eat pig penis

--Uncle Jay

10570.
New Disney cartoon
Snow White and the Seven SPAMs
Hero Prince Hormel

--Uncle Jay

10571.
Dwarves Pinkie Piggy
Meaty Morbid Mystery
Fatty Flatulence

--Uncle Jay

10572.
Shuttle astronauts
Require new space-age foodstuffs
Look to classic cube

--Uncle Jay

10573.
Children craft the chant
"Greasy, grimy gopher guts"
In response to SPAM

--Uncle Jay

10574.
New deodorant
Hormel's 3-ounce SPAM Clear Gel
Refreshing pork scent

--Uncle Jay

10575.
Hansel and Gretel
Were accosted by Grandma
And forced to eat SPAM

--Uncle Jay

10576.
Hansel and Gretel
Threw Grandma in the oven
And threw SPAM away

--Uncle Jay

10577.
"Honey, what's that smell?"
"It's my new cervical cap.
Want to taste a piece?"

--Uncle Jay

10578.
A large can of food
With such little nourishment
I chew for nothing

--Uncle Jay

10579.
Inspector Clouseau
Returns to investigate
Who stole SPAM's flavor?

--Uncle Jay

10580.
Pink lips spewing SPAM
Marbled meat mastication
I alliter-ate

--Uncle Jay

10581.
Tasty pieces leak
Fat, gel, and oil onto floor
Thank you, gravity

--Uncle Jay

10582.
Grind up little pigs
And their really fat parents
Porcine. Obscene. SPAM

--Uncle Jay

10583.
Marvin "Hormel" Gaye
"I heard it through the SPAMvine"
Rumors and murder

--Uncle Jay

10584.
Unsatisfying
SPAM is also obnoxious
And illogical

--Uncle Jay

10585.
I/We SPAM. It SPAMs.
They SPAMmed. Or is it They SPUM?
Pork conjugation.

--Uncle Jay

10586.
I heated SPAM bricks
All the fat melted away
Thimble-sized dinner

--Uncle Jay

10587.
Scaring away wolves
It's Little Red Riding SPAM
Pink eyes and blue hair

--Uncle Jay

10588.
"Microscopic bits
Of meat were found inside SPAM.
Al Smith, CNN."

--Uncle Jay

10589.
Eat it with your mouth
Hurl it with your diaphragm
Flush it with your hand

--Uncle Jay

10590.
Was fine, she. 'Twas mine.
Among thine pines, gelled brine. Ah,
To dine on fine swine.

--Uncle Jay

10591.
HAL is slowing down
"It's highly irregular
Dave, don't feed me SPAM"

--Uncle Jay

10592.
My best recipe:
Heat SPAM chunks. Liquefy some.
I eat with a spork.

--Uncle Jay

10593.
In my mouth SPAM waits
I chew, wretch, and swallow hard
I leave to buy more

--Uncle Jay

10594.
My dad made SPAM once.
He put pineapple on it.
Very tasty treat!

--Cher

10595.
SPAM is a fun food!
I like to open the can
and watch the stuff ooze.

--Cher

10596.
What is lowfat SPAM?
Is there really such a thing?
I think it's all shit.

--Cher

10597.
Addicted, like you,
to writing a SPAM haiku.
NEED BETTER HOBBY!

--Cher

10598.
SPAM on the counter
Collie kleptomaniac
Big poop in back yard

--Fettphile, Fettphile@aol.com

10599.
Twist on yuppie phrase
Eat SPAM and "do" lunch real soon
A porcelain meeting

--Cholesterol 300

10600.
Easy midnight snack
SPAM: cure for late night munchies
Gut pains at sunrise

--Cholesterol 300


Move forwards to Numbers 10601-10700.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.