David Policar 1992
It began with a dream, and the dream itself began with a half-dozen people sitting at a dinner table. Their names don't really matter, but for the record, they were Denise, Daniel, Alan, Jeffrey, Jane, and Patrick. We had all been close friends once, though in the waking world we'd drifted apart with the years. In the dream, we shared a meal in silence.
It has occured to me that everything since then may have been the same dream, that all of you are figments of my imagination. I don't know, and you don't tell me... you're just an audience. Maybe it's all your dream, after all... maybe I'm a figment of your imagination. But that way lies madness.
Not that I'm sure madness is avoidable. But maybe if you hear it, it becomes real, somehow. Or at the very least, maybe once you've heard it, you'll be done with me.
In my dream, we were eating, but the food tasted like straw, and the table and the walls were fading away. Light streamed into the room. Beyond the walls there was nothing but light... a vortex of light that became somehow clearer and more distinct as it receded into the distance. Movement was impossible, even the thought of movement was impossible, although we moved, for a time too short to notice.
Then the light receded, taking the room and the table with it, and leaving the six friends sitting in a grassy field on the side of a hill, with blue sky above us and fog - or clouds? - below. I lay on the grass for a long time without moving.
In retrospect, the most unusual thing about the situation was that anything was unusual about it. After all, I was dreaming, and anything goes in dreams, right? But in fact, the entire situation seemed so completely absurd and inexplicable that, paradoxically, I could do nothing but go along with it. It was like watching a movie, except I was on stage... I just took everything at face value and hoped it would make sense eventually. I guess it was like that for everyone. Funny that I never thought to ask.
Pat jumped to his feet, which reminded me that I could move again, but it didn't seem worth it. Everyone else stayed where they were, too, and after an awkward moment, he sat back down. We all stared at one another, the grass, the blue sky, and the fog below us. Nobody said a word.
Denise was staring at me, with a tightness in her eyes and around her mouth that suggested disapproval -- of what, I wasn't entirely sure. Pat shifted around restlessly, willing to look at anything and everything except at the rest of us; Jeff stared intently into the middle distance. Alan was leaning back on his elbows, shaking his head and smiling. Jane caught my eye furtively, and seemed terrified.
I was shocked -- I had expected Jane of all people to take the situation in stride, as just another fantasy. On the other hand, I had expected myself to lose it completely, and I seemed to be dealing perfectly well. It had seemed an unwritten rule between Jane and I when we were lovers that only one of us could be able to cope with a situation at any given moment; evidently, the rule was going strong after the relationship had fallen apart. I reached out my hand to her, and she took it, and that seemed to help.
Pat jumped to his feet again, and stayed there. Alan and Denise followed suit, and the three of them paced for a while. Jane looked suddenly awkward and released my hand. Time passed. A breeze descended from the hilltop, carrying with it a faint chill. The fog below seemed undisturbed.
"OK, I give up." Denise's voice broke a silence that had lasted long enough to seem natural, and I jumped. She looked at me briefly, then at Jeff, then back at me. "Where are we, Daniel?"
I sputtered. "Damned if I know... on a hill somewhere."
"Yes, but where?"
"Danny, do you know where we are?" That was Alan, folding his long arms across his chest and trying to look serious.
"I haven't the --"
"Hey, look over here!" I was thankful for Pat's high-pitched shout, since it seemed to distract everyone's attention, and I had no idea what I was going to say. Pat was about twenty yards downhill, just beyond a small rise in the land, and we joined him there to see a path in the grass, leading in three directions... down, into the fog, and to either side, flush with the hill.
We stared at it in silence.
"Well," I offered, "I guess we should pick a direction, right?" Mostly, I wanted to fill the silence. "Any preferences?"
"East." That was Jane, pointing past Denise and Alan to our left.
"How on Earth do you know that way is east?" Alan was looking skeptical.
"Simple. The sun is rising that way."
"How do you know it isn't setting?!?"
"Well, if it's morning, and the sun is in the east," I misquoted, pointing uphill, "then that is northerly. Conversely, if it's evening, and the sun is in the west, then that", I pointed downhill, "is northerly."
Four pairs of eyes met in long-suffering looks; Denise looked around for something to throw at me; I grinned and continued.
"Anyway, sunwards it is, be it east or west. Or northerly, for that matter. Objections?" I didn't much care, but one direction was as good as any other, and any direction was better than arguing about it the way Jane and Alan were about to.
"Maybe," said Jeff, "we should think about what we want to accomplish before we go marching off?" It was the first word he had said since... well, since our arrival. Again, I thought it a waste of time given no data, but again, I didn't want to argue the point.
"Ideas?"
Jeff thought about it for a moment. "Well, more appropriate clothing, for one thing."
Jeff was wearing a pair of cut-off jeans and not much else. With the chill wind blowing, I saw his point about clothing, but what could we do about it? "So what do you want to wear, Jeff?"
"Well, I certainly don't want to wear this."
To this day, I'm not sure whether or not I blinked. As far as I could tell, his clothes just disappeared from one moment to the next. It was as if he had never been wearing anything at all.
"One wish gone, I guess," I was startled to hear my own voice, "Not, mind you, that I'm complaining." Jeff blushed spectacularly, bright red splashing across his face, neck and most of his torso, and stared rigidly into the middle distance again. Alan laughed, and Pat joined in; Denise and Jane looked embarassed. I guess I stared for a while, then took off my shirt and tossed it to him. He wrapped it around his waist, holding it with one hand.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Wonderland!" I shouted, hearing an edge of hysteria creeping into my voice. "Like the man says, 'Be careful what you wish for, you may just get it'."
"In that case, I want three beautiful women and a hammock!" shouted Pat, grinning widely. I cringed. Alan laughed, too loudly. Nothing happened.
"Hm..." Alan stood with his chin in his right palm, his left hand supporting his right elbow, his fore- and index fingers running along the side of his face -- the very picture of deductive genius. "Hm!" he said again, more forcefully. "It would seem... somehow... that something or someone is listening... or, that is, that somehow what we're saying is... being heard somewhere. So... in that case... that is, if that's so, then whoever or whatever that is is something - or someone - important, and we need to find them." He nodded, satisfied.
"I wonder how many wishes we get?" asked Denise.
"I don't see any beautiful women appearing from the mists, so maybe we've run out." Pat looked disappointed, whether by the hypothetical lost wishes or the even more hypothetical missing women, I wasn't sure.
"Except of course," I added, "for the ones we brought with us. Maybe our benefactor figures we already have enough beautiful women in the party? Besides," I glanced at Jeff, still red (though more from cold than embarassment, I figured) and decided not to continue the thought. "Besides, what would we do with them once we had them -- no, never mind, forget I asked."
"Hey, here are some clothes!" called Jane from behind the crowd. Sure enough, she had found an odd assortment of articles of clothing, including but not limited to the cutoff jeans and jockey shorts that Jeff gratefully climbed back into. The pile also included a thin leather jacket and matching gloves, three pairs of sunglasses, a pair of extra-large hiking boots, some Chinese slippers, a blue body-suit, a black hooded sweatshirt, a backpack (empty), a Velcro-fastened wallet, a bunch of other stuff... it was like looting Filene's Basement.
After a fair amount of negotiation and trying on of items, we managed to distribute it all in a way that kept everyone happy. I don't really remember who ended up with what, except that Denise took the bodysuit and I took the sweatshirt, since Jeff still had my shirt. By this time, it was evident that the sun was in fact setting, which meant (as I couldn't help but point out) that downhill was northerly. Somehow, we agreed that that was the way to go and set off without much further discussion. I think we were all too afraid of saying the wrong thing. We had, after all, gotten the clothes Jeff had asked for... but if all our wishes were going to be granted that way, perhaps it was better to keep our mouths shut.
Of course, things were no less surreal on the path than they had been in the clearing. It wound in pointless twists and turns down the side of a perfectly smooth hill, and there seemed no reason to choose the path over a simple straight walk down the hillside. I had suggested this, but was promptly voted down, the general feeling being that the path was there for a reason and we ought to stick to it. Since there seemed no particular reason to be going down the hill at all -- indeed, since there seemed no particular reason to be doing anything -- I agreed the path was as good a route as any other.
In any case, the sun was setting and it became difficult to see where we were going. "We need to find someplace to spend the night," I whispered, "before someone gets hurt."
"Suggestions, Sherlock?" Pat had been getting more snappish the longer we walked, and it was getting on my nerves. Unfortunately, he was right -- there weren't many options.
"How about that light over there?" I cringed at Alan's too-loud voice -- who knew what might be listening? -- but was even more startled by the light he pointed out, a short distance down the road. Why hadn't we noticed it before? It seemed to flicker, like firelight -- perhaps a campfire? Help or danger? How could we tell?
"It could be a trap", Jane warned.
"Or it could be our only way to make it through the night!" Denise whispered back, fiercely.
"How do you know there's anything dangerous out here in the first place? Maybe we can just sleep by the side of the road!" Like Alan, Pat was way too loud.
"Well, if there isn't any danger, I'd rather sleep by a fire," Alan shot back, quieter, "and if there is danger, I'd still rather sleep by a fire." Nobody seemed convinced.
If we kept arguing, anything could sneak up on us. We all seemed to recognize that, and silence fell, but nobody moved. Finally, it was too much to bear.
"OK, tell you what," I whispered. "I'll sneak around and take a look. If I don't come back in fifteen minutes, assume there are gremlins there and they've eaten me. Otherwise, I'll be back in a flash." Without waiting for a reply, I jogged down the road, straining for any sign of movement or conversation, taking care not to look at the fire, so that my eyes would remain adjusted to the darkness.
"Only one o' ya, eh?" The squeaky, crackling voice startled me, and I scuttled to the side of the road. I heard laughter from all around me.
"No need ta get panicky, boy... won' do ya a bit o' good, neither." I didn't move. "I said, no need ta get panicky! I ain't gonna hurtcha."
It occured to me, finally, that if I waited too long, someone was going to decide to come down and see what had happened to me. I had handled things poorly... if there was a threat, it would take us all one at a time, unless I dealt with it now.
"Why don't you show yourself, then?" When in doubt, go on the offensive. I hoped.
The voice chuckled, and the chuckle attached itself to an old man who stepped out into the flickering light. He was about sixty, I guessed, stooped and bald with a long wispy grey beard, carrying a grey blanket or cloak wrapped around his shoulders that trailed along the ground. I was relieved and worried at the same time... on the one hand, if this guy could make it camping out, then how dangerous could the area be? On the other hand, if the area was dangerous, than he was obviously more formidable than he seemed -- maybe he had a rifle in there or something -- and I needed to be careful. Still, he seemed harmless enough, and he could have taken a shot at me while I came down the road if he'd been interested. Assuming he had a gun. And assuming he was willing to make noise. All of which added up to exactly nothing, of course, but thinking it through made me feel better.
I walked down to meet him.
"Hi, my name's Daniel. We saw your light, and, well, I thought I'd come by to look around, see who was here. You know..." I trailed off lamely, not knowing what to say.
"Hm-mmm, yah, I know. Ya were tired an' cold, an' ya saw my fire, and thought ya could maybe spend the night safe an' warm, isn't that right?" He looked into my face for a moment, and smiled. "You're OK, sonny. Plenty of room... go getcher friends!"
I turned to go, then stopped... I had "snuck" down here to learn something, to see whether the place was safe. For all I knew, the guy was going to slit our throats and eat us for breakfast!
"Scared, eh? Well, I guess I can' blame ya. Tell ya what... why don' you and your friends come down for some supper, we can talk a bit, and then you can either spend the night or move on. With your gear, you should be OK."
As he spoke, the hillbilly seemed to fade out of his voice. I was going to ask him about that, but was distracted by something else he had said. "My gear?"
He giggled for a moment, then laughed out loud. "The glasses, boy! Put on the glasses!"
I fished the sunglasses out of my pocket, where I had been keeping them. I hadn't worn sunglasses at night since high school! But what the heck... this guy lived here. And how had he known I had them in the first place? So I put them on, and suddenly everything was lit like daylight.