As told by Seth Gordon, 1999
Ed. note -- Apikorus is a Hebrew word generally translated as "heretic".
So once upon a time in Poland a young apikorus decides he's had it with life in his little village. He sets out for Lodz (pronounced "lodj"), one of the major cities, to learn at the feet of the Great Apikorus of Lodz.
He arrives in Lodz on Friday morning, and asks the inkeeper where he can find the Great Apikorus. The inkeeper says to go to the local synagogue. The young apikorus goes to the synagogue and sees a crowd of men in the beis medrash hunched over volumes of Talmud. He asks the sexton where the Great Apikorus is, and the sexton points to one of the bearded men.
"Hello, I'm an apikorus just like you, and I've come to Lodz to study at your feet..."
"Excellent! Welcome! But before we study any apikorsis together, we need to go to the mikveh and prepare for Shabbos."
The young apikorus, perplexed, follows the Great Apikorus to the ritual bath, then back to the synagogue for Friday night services. Then he goes home with the Great Apikorus and has a traditional Shabbat dinner -- the Great Apikorus even says all the appropriate blessings before and after the meal. They meet at the synagogue the next morning, but the Great Apikorus keeps putting the young one off, because of services, lunch, an afternoon Talmud class....
Finally, the young apikorus can contain himself no longer. "I don't understand what's going on. I came to Lodz to study apikorsis at your feet, but you're doing all the same stupid rituals as everyone else. What kind of apikorus are you, anyway?"
The man draws himself up to his full height and declares: "I am the Great Apikorus of Lodz. You are a goy."