Classified ads

Ken Jones

20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to pay for charges, the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by us last year.

3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

7 ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered with golden fried onion rings.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

Be with us again next Saturday at 10 p.m. for "High Fidelity," designed to help music lovers increase their reproduction.

Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Creative daily specials, including select offerings of beef, foul, fresh vagetables, salads, quiche.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.

For Sale--Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.

For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Great Dames for sale.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, 555-6204.

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Ladies and gentlemen, now you can have a bikini for a ridiculous figure.

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

Mother's helper--peasant working conditions.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last .

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.

See ladies blouses. 50% off!

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes and Gardens.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

Tune in next week for another series of classical music programs from the Canadian Broadcorping Castration.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.

Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

We build bodies that last a lifetime.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.

When you are thirsty, try 7-Up,the refreshing drink in the green bottle with the big 7 on it and u-p after.