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The Mayfield Handbook of Technical & Scientific Writing
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Section 6.1

Stacked Modifiers and Nouns

Avoid using long strings of modifiers or nouns. These stacked modifiers and nouns can be hard to read and sometimes create ambiguity. Add a few words (especially prepositions and conjunctions) to make the relationships between nouns clear to the reader.


Weak

Previous work has shown that a purified pro-oxidant, vitamin E-deficient fish oil diet protects mice against malaria parasites.

Improved

Previous work has shown that feeding a pro-oxidant diet containing fish oil, but devoid of vitamin E, protects mice against malaria parasites.

--Orville A. Levande et al., "Protection against Murine Cerebral Malaria by Dietary-Induced Oxidative Stress," Journal of Parasitology

Weak

We have analyzed low-energy, interplanetary charged, sun-sourced particle flux time series.

Improved

We have analyzed the time series of fluxes of low-energy interplanetary charged particles, whose ultimate origin is the Sun.

--David J. Thomson et al., "Propagation of Solar Oscillations through the Interplanetary Medium," Nature

Weak

The system uses a high peak power single frequency low divergent light beam produced by pulsed lasers. [The modification of beam is difficult to sort out.]

Improved

The system uses pulsed lasers that operate under high peak power to produce a single-frequency light beam with low divergence.


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## Stacked Modifiers and Nouns ##
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