I am sitting on the floor, as happy as usual, loving this hot place that smells almost as good as a course six recitation--not that I would know--I am not course six.
Actually, I do know. This should not offend everyone, really. There are certain people who do not have the typical pungent odor. For example, all of my course six friends (isn't it cool how I write six rather than 6--I am trying to be an MIT rebel--I am a writer, and therefore write the letter--not state it as if it has mathematical connotations. It doesn't. It actually stands for--now, what you've all been waiting for--Computer Science and Electrical Engineering!)
From now on I shall stick only to the topic at hand, which is this empty Athena cluster (what an ugly word--I hereby petition to change the name to room--yes I know, very creative).
Yes, it actually is empty--as usual. That is why I am sitting on the floor.
Now, it is time to let out my anger at the world in the form of humor. Actually, I will just let it out. If it is funny, then it is, and if it isn't, then whatever--no one is forcing you to read my talented writing. So, if you don't like it--fuck you--excuse the language. I really didn't want to resort to such language, but it seemed more apropriate then c'est la vie. But, had I used c'est la vie, I would have been able to show off my knowledge of the French language. Actually, this is not the place to show off (But, I did get 800 on the Math SAT). If my conceit is annoying, then the editor of VooDoo would appreciate letters suggesting my immediate firing. [ Eds: Damn straight!] Furthermore, I would not even be offended. I would even like it. So, shall I show off some more--to anger the public--who knows, maybe I can get all of Cambridge and Boston after me. No, it would go on too long.
Now that no one is reading this article anymore, I shall freelance. I will write what is on my mind.
What I meant to say earlier, but something that I did not want people to read unless they deeply cared for me--is that everyone is getting on my nerves. I had said that I hadn't heard of [Eds: name deleted to protect the innocent] and mentioned that I didn't think it was a state, and the person to whom I was speaking to believed me--even though we were all joking around--that really pissed me off.
Now that that is off my mind, I feel as incredibly releived.
It reflects on the entire world, however, and is the sad reality. People always think the worst about everyone else. It just isn't fair. Why can't people just be nice.
This is just the beggining of my movement for a new world--one in which everyone is nice. If anyone is interested in helping my assemble a military, and prepare for a coup, just contact the editor of VooDoo, who will be happy to give you more information.
More is to come!
Now, all of those readers who are not interested in my group, don't tell the police about it--that would hurt my cause and that would not be nice. But, then again, you are not for the nice movement. So, I suggest that you kill roaches if you want to be mean. That way, you will not be arrested yourself. If you tell on me--I don't even want to get into what will happen.