Dear Editor,

Saw the new issue [Feb '94]. All in all, a fine publication, filled with the sort of tasteful, high-quality features that my own literary efforts are proud to be in the company of...

Jesus! What a lot of demented student brain-snot!


G.L. Dryfoos

Anybody got a tissue?

Dear Editor,

If I read the title correctly, VooDoo is the ``Journal of Humor''. How did the two articles by Jason Bucy (``I Laughed, I Cried, I Projectile Vomited'' and ``8 Bits for a Night of Pain'') ever get past the Editor? They weren't funny or even marginally entertaining. They just sucked. I read VooDoo for entertainment. If I want to hear people bitch and whine about money and lousy entertainment, I can find plenty of that elsewhere.

Matt Knapp

Yes, but we don't charge by the minute.

Dear Phos,

I'm a truck driver with homosexual leanings. My question: Why is Semi-Monthly published biweekly and Bi-Weekly published semimonthly?

Alan Blount

Can't help you here, Alan. We publish bimonthly.

Jeepers Kent,

What is ``VooDoo''? On the surface, VooDoo appears to be a hilarious compilation of witty and pithy jags on relevant topics. Deeper down, it seems to be a labored attempt to stretch 10 jokes over 50 pages. Deeper still, there is something even more horrible afoot. By reading between the lines and at the edges of the pages, I have realized that VooDoo is actually a grand machination aimed at ruling the world. What follows is my research detailing the chronological activities of VooDoo, MIT ``Journal'' of ``Humour.'' Seen together, these seemingly unrelated events form a sinister tapestry of doom, or at least bowel trouble.

March 1919: VooDoo is born to mother Phosphorous, or vise versa.

1919 -- 1950: VooDoo is a nice quiet magazine. All police records from this era are sealed. Neighbors report that VooDoo, ``always kinda keeps to itself, but answers politely when spoken to.''

April 1951: The word ``darn'' appears in VooDoo. In a retraction written by the Editor-in-Chief, the word ``rats'' is used.

March 1963: The word ``fuck'' appears in VooDoo for the first time that people born after 1934 can remember.

May 1977: The word ``fuck'' appears 68 times in one sentence.

September 1979: VooDoo encourages the Freshman to, ``study hard, become diverse, and love one another,'' but in a way that sounds facetious.

October 1988: Voter registration across the country doubles, with most of the new registrants named ``V. Phosphorous.''

November 1992: Clinton is elected president of the U.S.A. He brings a cat named ``Socks'' to the White House, but the cat also responds to ``Phos.'' Aides are stymied when their stock of tequila disappears as soon as they replenish it.

December 1992: Les Aspin, MIT graduate and disloyal VooDoo reader, is anointed Secretary of Defense.

February 1993: VooDoo lampoons(tm) Aspin in several articles.

January 1994: Aspin resigns.

April 1, 1994: VooDoo 75th Anniversary Smoker, starring Concussion Ensemble and other amazing people, is held in the Walker Memorial Building, 9 p.m.

John Dzenitis