Opening my stack of mail that arrives each day is one of the few pleasures remaining to an old 93-year old man, but that thick brown package from you filled me with the greatest anticipation. When I got it opened and found the wonderful VooDoo teeshirt in it, it made my day! To think that my escapades of so long, long ago would be so remembered and rewarded is past belief! My long life has brought me many rewards and that teeshirt is one of the very best.Mr. Elmer, we're glad that the teeshirt was so well received. We've worn ours around here and are invariably pelted by rotten fruit. (See ad, page 35).
I've been unbelievably lucky in too many ways to count. Probably the best of all is my being blessed with a wife 17 years younger than I, who faithfully takes such care of me. She tells me that in another two years we're going to have to live up in the country all the time. We have over 100 acres of land there stretching from the Pemigewasset River to the White Mountains and it won't be such a bad place to live. The people there will look at me with wonder when they see me dressed up in that wonderful teeshirt.
Would you please submit my article. I know the deadline was yesterday, but, you see, it has always been my dream to write for VooDoo.Well, we could have accepted your submission, except that it was late, accompanied by an incomplete form, and on the wrong size paper. Thanks for writing!
In this harsh, harsh world full of bureaucrats, I am really hoping to find some soft, sweet, gentle people involved in your publication. As I listen to magic 106.7. I suddenly feel as if you are my family, my friends, and will always be there for me.
Shall I brandish my talents yet, or must I do more to convince you that the article should be published.
Allow me to share my freshman hardships with you, if not for you to empathize and feel pity for me, then to make you feel guilty and horrible that any poor little freshman has seen the real world, and cause you to jump up and down for two hours.
So what if I took 8.02 (and got 5 on the AP Physics C-level exam in E\&M), and know it inside out, if I registered and then dropped it, I should never be permitted to take the Advanced Standing exam. Regardless of the reason for such a rule, if it's a rule, it's a rule. And why should the head of the physics department let me take the exam, or change the rule. After all, it's her job to force students to take courses they already know, and lure students towards depression, sadness, and thoughts of transfering, because we will have to take 6 courses a term in order to graduate. I.H.T.F.P.
But, because I didn't transfer, the math department decided to do all it could to further convince me that I should pursue that which was mentioned earlier in this sentence.
I missed the deadline for petitioning to take the 18.03 Advanced Standing exam. So even though I have been studying during the fortnight (and the fortnight before this one), I should have to wait till next year to take the exam. This way, my grade will show, and I'll be able to feel more pressure (and anger at the system). Thus, the probability of my transfering (or suicide) increases, and his job is done as well.
Of course, who am I to say that the system isn't fair. Clearly, I am only recounting events which I see as unfair, but that in the long run will enhance my ability to understand the MIT bureaucracy, and possibly look good on my resume when applying for a position at this logical institution that engineers call their home.
Thus, the MIT staff has done its job well, and I urge you to do the same. However, VooDoo's job is to keep their talented writers AT MIT. Thus, I beg you to submit my article, for MIT's sake. Please peruse the article below, being sure that you take notice of all my talents, and thus know how I may help you in the future. Respond A.S.A.P.