How the Nubile Young Nymph played Strip Poker with a flock of Penguins from Antarctica in the Caverns of Mount Kilomonjaro

by Archibald Krantz

Fit and his brother Calus were on Olympus Highmount in a room with Zeus Quicktemper. Fit was arguing with Zeus about how Zeus would never play with him or Calus. Both Fit and Calus are sons of Ares Warmonger and Daphnid the nympth. Zeus was deeply annnoyed with Fit because he was always challenging Zeus to some game or another.

``Grandson mine,'' Zeus rumbled at Fit, ``either you stop your insane contests with everyone or leave Olympus for good!''

``Grandfather Zeus, Thunderer on high, the only thing I can do is win contests against people or gods and grant mortals the power to do the same! I swear by the Styx that the day I don't challenge anyone is the day a flock of well-dressed birds fly up from the bottom of the Earth and move in with me!''

Zeus was displeased by Fit's invocation of the Styx. ``You half-god! You villainous cur! You will be sorry for invoking the Styx in such a careless manner! Now leave Olympus and take your lazy brother Calus with you, or suffer the pain of my thunderbolt!'' Zeus was mad now, he began fumbling around for his cache of thunderbolts. Frightened, Fit Surewin and his brother Calus left.

They took the wonderful steeds that Poseidon Earthshaker had given them for making his favorite town win a war against the savage Cimmerians. The horses had the power to gallop through the air and water without hindrance. they rode a day and a night until they reached Kilomonjaro, then they let the horses out to pasture and set up a little home in a cavern. There they stayed for many years.

Meanwhile, Daphenis, daughter of Daphnid and her rightful husband Mensor, was praying to Aphrodite Fairform. Daphenis had fallen in love with Prince Melateis of the house of Pelium. Daphenis was a nubile [ of marrying age --- ed.] young nymph, but the voluptuous Seduceis also had her eye on Melateis. Melateis was as yet undecided so the two girls fought savagely for him by giving him gifts of flowers and gold and by whispering words of love in his ears. Aphrodite heard poor Daphenis and came to her in a dream:

``There is naught I can do for you at the moment, dear, but your half-brother Fit may be able to help you. you have merely to best him at a game of his choosing and he will grant you the power to win over Seduceis in your struggle for Melateis. He is living in a cavern with his lazy brother in Kilomonjaro. I wish you luck!''

A few days after arriving at Kilomonjaro (a fortnight to be exact) Fit felt profoundly bored. he decided to play a game with Calus; he enjoyed these games even though he always won. ``Well, brother mine, do you wish to compete with me in a small game of arm wrestling?''

``I don't care,'' came the indifferent reply from Calus.

Fit thought a bit. ``I'm out of practice...''


Fit frowned, then looked up and smiled. ``I'll give you a head start!''

``In arm wrestling?''

``Well, I could give you the power to beat me!'' Fit was so bored he was willing to make any concession.

``Still don't care,'' Calus yawned.

Now Fit was angry at his lazy brother: ``You spoil sport! Ingrate! I'm willing to let you win and still you don't want to play? Well, that's it! No more is your beloved brother Fit going to play games of amusement! No more!''

At these words there was a flash of lighting and the roar of thunder and a flock of Penguins from Antarctica flew into the cavern. There, the well-dressed birds proceeded to unpack their bags and build their nests. ``Oh no!'' Fit sobbed. ``My accursed oath on the Styx has been invoked! Calus, this is all your fault!''

The nymph Daphenis, who had followed the Penguins into the cavern, came up to Fit and proclaimed, ``I have come to best you at a game of your choosing, half-brother Fit!''

Fit was rather rattled by the birds and only mumbled: ``Strip poker.'' Then he remembered his latest oath and apologized, ``I'm afraid I have sworn not to play games anymore, you'll have to play against my brother Calus... no, wait! Play against these infernal birds, here, I doubt that Calus cares--''

``I don't.'' he interrupted.

Daphenis looked at Fit, ``And if I win, you will grant me the power to beat Seduceis in our contest over my beloved Melateis.''

``Agreed.'' Fit agreed. Daphenis pulled up a chair and took the proffered deck of cards from Fit's hands.

And so a nubile yong nymph played strip poker with a flock of penguins in the caverns of mount Kilomonjaro.