Dear Editor,

We really enjoyed the last issue of the VooDoo. It was pretty funny, except for the essay about Secretary of Defense, Les Aspin PhD '66. Besides being disrespectful of a government official, it was really rude in general. All that stuff about brain cancer especially. Les Aspin doesn't have brain cancer, no matter how much Mr. Wen wishes he did.

You aren't really going to have a ``Les Aspin Fun Pages'' in every issue from now on, are you? Why do you have to make fun of a dedicated American statesmen like that? Just because you didn't like his commencement speech? It was a pretty important speech and was in all the newspapers.

Anyway, we're writing to let the MIT community know about the Les Aspin Fan Club. We read and discuss his speeches and papers, and we write to him with encouragement and questions about his ideas and policies. Every member will get an autographed picture too, as soon as he sends them.

Anybody who wants to join can write to aspin-fans@mit.edu. (Maybe Mr. Wen could learn something.)


Spaniel S. Flanbuck

Vice President, Les Aspin Fan Club

You'll be happy to know that the Les Aspin Fun Pages has been replaced in this issue by the rantings of another pompous windbag, Godfrey Saran-Crowley. (See our Guest Editorial.) But don't get too comfortable, LAFP will be back again in our next issue.

Dear Editor,

I am outraged and disgusted! I have recently arrived at MIT as a graduate student, and on perusing a list of various campus activities, I was horrified to discover that MIT has an ``Outing'' Club.

While I don't believe that Lesbi-Gays and other persons of alternative gender-affinity (like myself) should be forced by Society Norms to hide our manifestory ensexualment, I do recognize that in a period of History such as this, when rampant ongoing prejudice and oppression continues to afflict so many of us, we should respect the choice that some of our siblings have made, to conceal their socio-carnal orientation.

That the Institute would support an ``Outing'' Club -- a group obviously organized to force involuntary public knowledge of a person's genderatory preferentiation -- is both repulsive and insensitive.

There may be rare occasions when ``outing'', or the threat of it, might be appropriate in defending an oppressed community against the Hypocracy. But to have an organized, ongoing student activity dedicated to exposing members of The Community to the world's ignorant cruelty is just plain wrong and immoral.

I call on this ``Outing'' Club to cease their privacy invasions, destroy their files, and disband immediately. And if they will not do so, I call on the Administration to take all appropriate steps to protect the privacy of every member of The Community.


Maleeta Cone-Brewster

We don't know why you wrote to us about this, but since you did, we suggest you organize a protest march followed by a candlelight vigil. If that doesn't work, maybe you can convince DU to burn down the Outing Club's cabin again.

Dear ``Editor'' (and I use that term loosely...)

I never cease to be amazed at the total lack of taste, not to mention originality, in your alleged humour magazine, VooDoo. So, in some desperate plea for submissions you accept for publication any printed vomit that spews across your editorial desk? I am not amused. Your latest attempt was the second issue in a row featuring Phos the cat soliciting students to dive off the Green building. I don't appreciate your using that wise-assed flea-bag as a catalyst to get your sick giggles about student suicide. Phos used to be a cute little obsequious mascot, but now he's an in-your-face, sadistic cretin. And what's this crap about selling off Doc Edgertons bones? For God's sake, he's an ICON! Have you no lower bound to your heinosity? VooDoo makes me sick, and I refuse to peruse its lame pages ever again. Unless you print another article about chicks in bondage with mac & cheese. That really got me hot.

Just sign me,

I'm PC and I know how it goes down.

Hey, baby, you bring the pasta and we'll shred the cheddar.

Dear Editor,

``We don't want to turn the White House into the Waffle House,'' George Bush once said. Nevermind the messenger, the metaphor for Mr. Clinton's administration seems quite attractive, except that it doesn't work.

You see, `waffling' has come to mean taking a seemingly equivocal position at one time. Mr. Clinton has done something quite different... he's taken totally opposite positions at wildly different points in time (recall the Middle Class Tax Cut, Haiti, the value-added tax, the gas tax, lifting the ban on gays in the military, etc., etc.)

Therefore I propose that we no longer refer to the President as a `waffler', but instead as a `flapjacker', to make the distinction. Sincerely,

Hoyt Bleakley, Class of >>1993

We just saw an ad in The Globe for Spamburger Hamburgers. This analogy holds much potential.

Dear VooDoo,

First of all, let me say that I don't usually get so upset as to actually sit down and write a letter expressing my anger, but this time is different. This time I could not standby idly while such despicable behavior goes on uncondemned. There comes a time when we all must stand up for what we know to be right! And this time has come for me.

Thank you for your attention.


Rick Steadman

So there!