LETTERS TO VOODOO

Editor's note : This January, we did a small mailing to a handful of our respected alumni. The mailing included a copy of the September ``Back to School'' issue and a letter from Phosphorus explaining our latest efforts to improve the magazine and asking for advice. Here are a couple of the responses that we received.

Dear Phos,

Thanks for the sample Fall Issue. I read it and wept the nostalgic tears of an old 1945 VooDoo staffer, and other plain human tears. I now would like to offer some helpful advice, but have forgotten what. So here are observations that seemed incredibly perceptive last night at 2:00 a.m., and $10.00 for a subscription.
Award-Winning Funny Line In Fall Issue: Page 6, "The quality of VooDoo is beyond reproach."
Strange Premise: your fictitious editorial staff. Nobody will believe fake names as preposterous as Kent Lundberg and Alan Blount.
Curses: Always claim to be crass, filthy and disgusting, but avoid any real curse words, lest VooDoo sink to the boring level of Cable TV.
Wait! I just remembered! Here is the advice: Beware of all advice because as John Paul Richter of, I believe, the MIT Physical Plant, once said, but not recently, "Criticism strips the tree of both caterpillars and blossoms," and as Admiral John Paul Jones never said, "Two if by sea, full speed ahead, and damn the caterpillars."
H. Paul Grant '45.

Dear Phos,

Thanks for the copy of the Fall '92 issue. I looked it over farily thoroughly but did not find it interesting. Probably I've done some growing up since 1951.
Sincerely,
Roald Cann '51.

Editor's note : ...and then we get mail like this, from the user ID ``ELVIS'' on an archaic VM site. Go figure.

Dear Kent or Phos:

I have been digitized and stored on an archaic IBM 2314 disk drive.
(A) This medium is no longer supported.
(B) This medium is no longer reliable.
Please help me get out.
Thanx,
El'