Well, this is the Winter Holidays Issue of VooDoo, and I just have a few words: I want to point out some new features in VooDoo that you should notice. We are excited about them, but they all need your help to be successful.

Ask Phos

This isn't a brand-new feature (it appeared in the last issue), but we do hope that it will become a regular feature. However, this can only happen if Phos has questions from you to answer. We know that you have nagging questions that you dare not ask any of your close friends or family, so, send them to Phos.

Your questions about love, sex, money, murder and greed may be mailed to our office, emailed to voodoo@athena.mit.edu or left on our answering machine at 253-4575.

Humor Zine Review

The world of underground publications is a fascinating cross section of American culture. The advent of cheap copy machines, faxes, and affordable scanners has made it possible for practically everyone with a cross to bear to put their message into print. Whether it's page after page of formless text or avant garde photocopy art or good old pen and ink cartoons, it's out there. With this column we hope to introduce you to many interesting (and hopefully funny) small publications that you can get through the mail.

Submissions can be mailed to our office.

Joke Page

The Joke Page is an old VooDoo feature, but it hasn't appeared lately because we haven't received any submissions of jokes. So, until we start getting a steady influx of jokes for this column from our readers, we are just going to print our own. However, all we know are ``elephant'' jokes, ``blonde'' jokes and ``but I just met her/him'' jokes.

This month's picking is ``blondes'' and ``elephants''. If we don't get some submissions before February, next issue's Joke Page will be ALL ``but I just met her/him'' jokes. Just look at these gems : ``Bittersweet chocolate? But he just met her!'' and ``Succumb to injury? But I just met him!''

The only way that you can avoid this horrible fate is by submitting funny jokes for the column. Jokes may be mailed to our office, emailed to voodoo@athena.mit.edu or left on our answering machine at 253-4575.

In the next issue of VooDoo, we hope to inaugerate the following two features as regulars :

Crank File

Other weird things that we get in our mail which don't really qualify as 'zines will be highlighted in this new feature. We'll give you the straight dope on everyone from religious fanatics and psychics to government conspiracy freaks and so-called secret societies. Next issue's column will be about UFOs if our writers aren't abducted before then. Leads for new material are greatly appreciated.

Submissions should be mailed to our office.

IgNobel Watch

The IgNobel prize ceremony is an annual event to honor scientific achievements that cannot, or should not, be reproduced. Past recipients have included the makers of Berry Blue Jell-o (TM), the creator of Beano (TM), and Dan Quayle for his accomplishments in education. In this column, we hope to keep our readers informed of current research that may (or may not) be leading to an IgNobel Prize.

IgNobel news tips should be mailed to our office, emailed to tt voodoo@athena.mit.edu or called in to 253-4575.