How to Look Good and Still Get A's

by Ms. Thang

You stumble into Lobdell looking for a bagel after having pulled two
all-nighters in a row.  Your Coco Chanel original is so dirty it looks
like a lab coat and you have class in an hour!  It seems that life at
MIT has finally gotten to you.  To avoid something like this happening
to yo, we've compiled a few beauty tips:

1.  Foundation.  With a full course load, beauty sleep is just not an
option.  To cover up that pale complexion and those dark circles under
the eyes, your best bet is a nice thick foundation.  We recommend
Dermablend, corrective make-up originally used on burn victims it is
just as helpful for burn-out victims.  

2.  Wigs.  8.01 taught us that gravity affects everything and hair is
no exception.  No matter how high the do, one night in the computer
cluster is bound to undo several hours of careful hair spraying and
styling.  A bouffant in your backpack is the perfection solution.  

3.  Helplessness.  Sometimes you can't help being a mess.  If you're
cause is hopeless don't try to fix it just work with it.  Remember
looking like you got hit by a truck on your way to school, and still
managed to make it, is in.  Tear your clothes, smear your eyeliner,
stumble into lecture and you'll be the talk of class for days. 

 4.  Body Double.  After putting in a long night's worth of work into
an assignment, you should not have to worry about handing it in.  Hire
someone to do it for you.  Your classmates will be green with envy
when they see "you" strutting into class looking glamorous as ever
after a grueling all-nighter.  Meanwhile you can be at home letting
your personal masseuse work wonders on your back as you phone Donna
Karan for tomorrow's outfit.

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